#111

The Authentic Self...

Authenticity comes when all else is gone, all the masks, all the armour, and all the games. 

We all have some form of defense. Somewhere deep inside, there is something worth protecting; we are all vulnerable at some level. Until we can remove the mask, stop the games and put a chink in that armour, we are not living our authentic life. 

If you haven’t looked inside, you haven’t even touched on what needs to be dealt with. Not only will you not be living your authentic life, but your issues will manifest themselves into something else, like disease. When fear is running your world or you are holding onto resentments, anger, unhappiness or pain, this is a signal that you have 'stuff' to deal with. Obviously there are a plethora of issues that accumulate within, but if you don’t deal with them, or with life, you will pay the price. You are here to learn and grow, not sit and stew. So whatever you are hoarding inside, whatever deep, dark secrets you don’t want to look at, they are keeping you from being real.

Self awareness is the key. 

Start by listening to your own inner wisdom or intuition, that little voice inside you. Living in your head will be telling you how you should act or what you should do. Actually as soon as anyone mentions what you should do, stop listening. Only you know what to do. Trust your intuition.

Try to look at things with an open mind, no judgement. Work on this... people are who they are and they do what they do, just be you, and do your thing, don't worry about the others.

Take a look a your belief system.... clean out everything that no longer serves you.

Take one step at a time .... it's not the destination, it's the journey.

#110

I CHOOSE...
The wondrous part of being human is you get to decide who you are. You are in charge of you. Even if, up until today, you have been following someone else's agenda, it is never too late to take back control.

Live by choice, not by chance.. today is your opportunity to make the choices in your life, not just letting the wind blow you where it will.

Make changes, not excuses...

Accept responsibility for everything you do, be accountable. There is no need for excuses, you are an adult.

Be Motivated, no manipulated....

As soon as you take control of your own life, you will not allow anyone to manipulate you. If you have been manipulated before in your life, you will recognize it, and close the door.

Be useful, not used...

Be there for others, but only for as long as it is good for you.

To excel, not compete...

Excel in all your endeavors, don't worry about what the others are doing, do it for YOU.

Choose self-esteem, not self-pity....

Self-pity is a waste of time, it will get you nowhere. Love yourself.

Listen to your inner voice, not the random opinion of others...

Your intuition will guide you. Never accept a 'no from someone that didn't have the right to give you a 'yes' in the first place.

Choose the life you want today, what or who is stopping you? Only YOU can do it, and YOU will be the one to benefit from it.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go."  Dr. Seuss

#109

Stop waiting .....

Waiting, is wishing your life away. There is joy to be found in each day. Seems easy doesn't it? 

Let's say .... You are going to Fiji next month, can you honestly say you would not be waiting, waiting, anticipating, waiting? Of course you are. 

We all do it, we wait, either for some event or because nothing worthwhile is happening right now. We are looking to the future, looking ahead, planning and plotting and waiting... for what? 

It is not easy to just be present, to enjoy every moment of our lives. We seem to be programmed for drama or excitement in order to get ourselves motivated. Something to look forward to, makes the ordinary,extraordinary.

This, just like everything, is a matter of attitude. 

"If you change the way your look at things, the things you look at change."  Wayne Dyer

Are you living in the here and now? Is this where you are, or are you projecting your thoughts into the future, causing dissatisfaction with what today has to offer? We need to be satisfied and grateful for the moment, we need to make the most of it... because it is really all you have.. you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Stop waiting, don't give your life away.

Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you are in now ..... Don't wait for anyone or anything. Go out and live your life. Carpe Diem 

#108

If we were as quick to forgive others as we are to judge them.....

My blog yesterday was about beliefs, as a chronic pattern of thought. I have since realized that beliefs may create a judgmental attitude.

When something is said or I have seen something that makes me cringe, I stated that I had been challenged by a belief. And now, after some reflection, I feel that this belief could manifest into a  judgmental response to the situation.

The reaction is due to some deeply buried, limiting belief, which in turn creates a judgmental thought or expression. Everyone needs to make judgment calls, ie. whether to cross a picket line, or whether to believe a sales pitch, but these are calls for your own conscience, or protection. Whereas being judgmental, towards others concerning, appearance, religion, or behaviour etc. is something that requires deep soul work. Conversely, being judgmental toward ourselves for similar reasons, or judging ourselves through someone else's eyes, is equally as harmful. 

We have all been taught; "judge not, less you be judged" and "judging other people doesn't say something about them, it says something about you." And knowing this, it still seems fairly common to come up with some negative evaluation of a person or action. In many cases, we tend to judge others by their behaviours and ourselves by our intentions. 

So what is the answer to our judgmental attitudes? Love and forgiveness. Forgive yourself for your thoughts or actions towards others, be aware of how your react to the situation next time it surfaces. And pay close attention to the way you feel when you negate another. Love your neighbour, as yourself.

"Love is the absence of judgement." Dalai Lama

#107

A belief is nothing more than a  chronic pattern of thought.

Do you have beliefs that are holding you back, keeping you stuck in a vortex of disapproval? 

I have found that if I get a reaction to whatever is going on, whatever I am discussing or seeing; if it makes me cringe, then I am being challenged by a belief. I am responding to something inside saying... "Oh no, you will not accept this!" 

The beliefs have been instilled in me from various sources throughout my life. Many have never been challenged because the subject was never presented. We carry some pretty amazing, even silly, limiting ideas that we take for gospel, until someone pushes the button. We, then either get stubborn, angry or decide we need to change our attitude.  

Sometimes you are at a loss as to where your reaction could possibly have originated. It really doesn't matter where it came from, it is there. If you are feeling you need to challenge this block, if it is not serving you, or if you have changed, you can create a new pattern. 

It might be the opportunity to assess your reactions and decide if it is really YOU that is reacting or if it is just a button. Is it how you really feel today, or is it an antiquated theory that you received from your grandmother? Don't waste any more time closed off from life due to some belief that may not be true to you. Once you assess your reactions, you have the ability to change your vibration

The world seems dark when you have too many limiting beliefs. Change your beliefs and you will change your world.

#106

Anxiety doesn't come from thinking about the future, it comes from trying to control it.

I have found that anxiety around almost anything is due to control issues. 

You have a preconceived vision for the results, and now all your efforts are pointed toward that end. If things start to go awry, you will get anxious. Once you are projecting your thoughts and/or feelings on the outcome of anything, there will be anxiety. Because you are investing emotion in the future.

You cannot control anything! Control is an illusion. No one knows what will happen tomorrow, let alone in a year. What happens, happens and you do not want to have an attachment to the result. That is where the anxiety starts. 

You need to go with the flow, what you want may happen and it may not ......you need to be OK either way.

You can prepare for the future, purchase life insurance, a retirement savings plan, or write a will.  Having your affairs in order will no doubt make you feel in control, and therefore reduce anxiety. You can prepare for any eventuality, but you have no control over when, how or what actually happens. 

"Worrying, obsessing, and controlling are illusions. They are tricks we play on ourselves." Melody Beattie

"If you want real control, drop the illusion of control. Let life live you. It does anyway." Byron Katie

You are here to enjoy the 'ride,' what will be, will be. So enjoy your stay on earth, and let go of the illusion of control.

#105

We will all find what we are looking for to substantiate our beliefs

This thought just came to me today, as I was pinning some quotes on Pinterest. Obviously, I pin quotes that resonates with ME. The pins that I choose appeal to me because of my history, my story. Other pinterest people select quotes from my boards, I assume because the quote also resonates with them.

Although some people are pinning my quotes, there are others that are not. They either are not interested in quotes or simply not the ones I choose. 

Everyone is on a different path, we are each going our own way. We have all come from different places, our experiences vary extensively. No one is lost or left behind, they are all going at their own speed. No matter what belief system you have established, you will only see what you want to see to substantiate those beliefs; the rest have no meaning for you.

Therefore we may not be aware of the message the quote has to offer yet or we've grown beyond it. Sometimes you find something so profound, and it means absolutely nothing to your best friend. We will all find what we need when we need it. 

Something that resonated with you last year or even last week, may not have the same appeal today. If you are working on your 'stuff' your attitudes and beliefs will change accordingly and so will your choices.

Wherever you are on your journey, something or someone will be placed in your path to help you reach the next step. It may be a new person entering the scene that will help show you the way, or a book or perhaps a quote on pinterest that will make it's way to this blog.

#104

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" 

Kris Kristofferson (Me and Bobby McGee)

Absolutely! 

Once there is nothing left to fight about or fight for, you are free. Once you give up all the drama, all the resentment, anger and nonsense, you are free. AND once you stop living someone else's life ... THEN you are free.

There is nothing left to lose because it is not that important... only YOU are. You don't really begin to live until you have lost everything. 

Once all the things that you once considered SO important are gone, you can really begin to feel calm, content and at peace. All that 'stuff' that you were fighting so hard to keep a tight grip on, so afraid to lose; only loses its significance. 

When you are wound up so tight, trying to hold everything together, EVERYTHING becomes of the utmost importance. When the job, another person, material possessions, anyone or anything is too critical to your survival, you lose. The only thing critical to your survival is YOU. 

This is what this journey is all about, coming to the conclusion that nothing is that crucial ... all the things you were so concerned about, just decrease in value as you evolve into the person that you are meant to be.

You don't have to literally lose anything, just your attachment to it. Let go of expectations, attachments and live your own life, for you, nothing else is as important.

Steve Jobs was quoted as saying "remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life."

#103

"You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate." Elizabeth Gilbert

Random thoughts enter your mind constantly throughout the day. You can pick and choose what to hear, and what to disregard. You don't have to take ownership of every stray notion that enters your head. 

Most of the thoughts we have on any given day, are supposition, untrue, fear driven, fictitious mind chatter. They will, however, reek havoc on your emotional well being over time, if you believe them. 

Learning to select your thoughts starts with awareness; paying attention to each notion, considering it, deciding if it is true, if it serves you, and if it is worthy of your time. This will take some practice, but if you keep propelling forward with selection process, you'll be amazed with the results. It is exceedingly stressful to accept whatever pops into your head. Relieving yourself of this burden, even a small amount, will prove to be profoundly beneficial for your emotional health.

Once mastered, you will have the power to manage the direction of your life. There is no advantage to negative messaging, it only instills fear and stress. Whereas, affirming contemplation will move you steadily toward your intentions.

"The only difference between heaven and hell is believing a thought." —Byron Katie

#102

"Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being yourself" Wayne Dyer

One more reason to be yourself. 

I have talked at great length about the importance of each and every one of us. About how we are all pieces of a puzzle, and all connected. You matter, you fit, you have a position meant for you alone. 

Regardless, a great majority of people spend their entire lives in disguise. There is so much fear surrounding the idea of being who they really are. They have been programmed that it is unsafe to put their face forward and constructed a mask early on. It is a survival technique that is common. Eventually, for most, when they feel safe enough, the mask will come off. In the meanwhile, it is almost impossible to get a 'read' on where they are coming from or who they are. Fear is keeping them from exposing their true nature and stunting their growth. 

The voyage of discarding fear is difficult, yet this is your 'raison d'etre', (reason for existing). The joy that comes from being your own human being is transformational. Fear will no longer control you and/or your actions, YOU will be YOU and that is more than enough. You cannot fail at being yourself. 

It is said that people don't change, 'a leopard doesn't change it's spots'. I feel people heal and grow, and with that comes change. People DO become who they really are, who they are meant to be. The mask DOES come off.

"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God's business." Michael J. Fox

#101  

'The dishes will wait, life won't'

This seems to be a hard concept to grasp. 

I have known a number of people that do not seem to understand that they, themselves, their family and friends are the priority. In your life, your emotional/spiritual health and well-being are of utmost importance, for you and those around you. Life is about balance. An immaculate house, yard and constant over-extending yourself at work, will drain any resources of joy you have accumulated. 

Everybody talks the talk, makes the excuses etc. and goes to work anyhow, on one of the above. My point is: a vast majority of people do not 'get' that life is not about things. I am not saying you shouldn't take pride in your home or your work, but you have choices on how you allot your time and energy. 

Take some time out of the kitchen to pay attention to what's going on in the house. Or invite everyone into the kitchen for some interaction. Have lunch with your mother or close friend, go to a movie, have a game night, something fun for the whole family. Create, decorate, shake things up. I know it sounds cliche, but leisure time is important, and might even be fun. Leisure time is not work. Take some time strictly for yourself, as well. Take a break, a walk, a nice long bubble bath, rejuvenate, read a book, put your feet up, relax, pamper yourself.

Learn to say 'YES'.  Do something new, go on an adventure, play. Step out of the routine, put something beside yourself on hold. Awareness is the key, change your mind and change your attitude. Get out of your own head, your own dissatisfaction and take a look around. Stop running, everything will wait until you have time, but make sure it is the dishes and not the family.  

"We were meant to live simply enjoying the experiences of life, the people of life, and the journey of life, not the things of life." Joshua Becker

    

Monday, October 20/14

Einstein said many profound things in his time on earth, and this one is just that. 

Everybody has some reason for being here. With some people, their talent or ability is more than obvious, but with others you may wonder about the reason for them being here. Don't worry, there is a reason. There is something that they are here to learn or to teach. Some are noted for their brain, their beauty, their compassion for others, their generosity of spirit or financial generosity, and still others for their personality. These are talents or gifts that they have been blessed with. You don't have to have all the trappings of our society to be vital.   

For example: we can't look at the math star in school and assume that the others are less than him. Even though he wins every prize available, it doesn't mean he is any greater as a person than the one that had to repeat the year. The student that was held back may be just the right person to show the class or a particular person, something that no one else could. 

Every person on earth is valuable for being exactly who they are. They are necessary and important. You cannot judge one person by another person's attributes. 'If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid' 

No two people are exactly alike, they don't think the same or act the same. There is simply no way to compare them, it's like apples and oranges; EVEN if they are both your children. They are not clones, they are a completely different mixture of genes. 

Accept each person for who they are, eliminate expectation and comparison, and revel in the differences among us. You never know who people will grow into.  "Everybody is a genius."

Sunday, October 19/14

This quote is saying ... know who you are and be who you are. It sounds fairly simple, who else could you be?

So many people are afraid to be themselves. They have been told that they are not worthy, either by words or actions throughout their lives. They build their armour and construct a mask to face the world; disbelieving or unaware of how wonderful they truly are. 

There are many reasons why they react as they do. Everything is buried inside. They are not necessarily aware of why, it is an involuntary reaction. They, of course, can control their reaction, but it shows up on cue. It is either anger, in it's many forms, or apology, giving away your power.  Masks and armour are the trappings worn by fear infested people. 

Living in fear, you surround yourself with people that will support this feeling. If you continue with people that bring you down or push your buttons, you will remain stuck. When you realize that you deserve more and take action you will begin to emerge from the muck and mire. 

Haunted by your past? Just remember, you are a work in progress. These things take time. You may feel that you have dealt with your issues, and then something happens, and there is that reaction again. Just set the intention that you are letting things go, and continue working on it. 

You will start to do the things you used to talk about, know when to let go, stop rushing, say it like it is, stop apologizing. You will learn to say no, eliminate the people that bring you down. You will stop giving your power away and appreciating your freedom..... you will know who you are!

Saturday, October 18/14

No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys.

Nobody can make you mad, no one can make you anything. YOU CHOOSE to react however you react to what is coming at you. 

Everyone has said, "'they' made me so mad" but 'they' simply does not have that power. 'They' may have memorized the buttons, or installed them for that matter, and "'they' definitely know how to push them. But you chose to get mad. You are in the driver's seat, you hold the keys. 

'They' may have struck a nerve, from some past hidden hurt that you have buried, but it still is a choice. You may have gotten mad because that's what you do; you stand up for yourself, you don't take nothing from nobody. but it's still a choice. The point is... it is up to you. It is your life and your reaction will determine your peace of mind.

And on the same subject: watch what you say. Do you want to be crazy? Statements like "you are driving me crazy" are telling the universe that you want/need to lose your mind. The universe will do everything to grant your wish. All the self depreciating statements made throughout your day, are sending the wrong message. 

Consider monitoring your thinking and verbalizing. Saying or thinking things like: 'You broke my heart, you’ll be the death of me, or that pisses me off', even a positive feeling such as; 'my heart is bursting with joy,' is giving the wrong message. You are practically begging some health issue to come and invade your body, you are telling your body that your heart is meant to burst or be broken. Stop it.

The moral of the story is... this is your life, you are in the driver's seat...do not give your keys to anyone else.

Friday, October 17/14

Never forget that you are one of a kind... 

Each one of us has a position, we are here for a reason and important in the scheme of things. Every person on earth affects the ones around them. They are meant to be here until their time is done. Each life is precious. You are a piece of the puzzle, you fit, just being where and who you are. Your uniqueness is a gift to the world.

I am sure there are times you wonder if your services are no longer required; life is so overwhelming. Never question the necessity of your life, you are crucial. 

This reminds me of the movie, 'It's a Wonderful Life', in which George Bailey discovers how important his life actually was, and how many lives he had affected by just being himself, doing what he did. It's cause and effect, the inconsequential moments in life, result in the changes you see in the world.

We rarely realize the effect we have on the people we meet throughout the day.  The ramifications of a simple 'hello' or a smile, are unknown, but could be just what a person needed to carry on. The things you do and say, without thought or intent, can make a difference to someone. Each person that crosses your path, does so for a reason. You are at a particular place at a particular time, just because you are you. You reaction or response changed a life forever.

The strength to go forward, no matter how dark the day, comes from this premise. Someone is there for you, just as you are for others. You don't have to be the one to find a cure for cancer to save lives, or make a change in the world. Being YOU can and will change someone and in turn will change the world. You are the one person.

Wednesday, October 15/14

Gratitude...To be in a state of thankfulness and appreciation at all times.

We need to stop  fixating  on what is wrong with our lives, what we think we are lacking, how hard done by we are, and remember to be grateful for what we do have. 

There is always something to be grateful for, no matter what your circumstances. Surrender your problems to the universe, really let them go ... completely. (Don't let them go and take them right back again.) Then do your life, go with the flow, your problems are under new management. 

Start practicing gratitude, look around at all that is yours, your health, your family/friends, your belongings etc. and say thank you. If all your prayers consisted of only “thank you” that would be enough. Let go of the negativity surrounding what is wrong with your life and BE GRATEFUL and THANKFUL for everything that is right!

It's not happy people that are grateful, it's grateful people that are happy. It's not necessarily the ones with the most fame, fortune or perfect partners that are happy. Each of us needs to feel the happiness within, from the inside out; so that no matter what state your life is in you can maintain it. 

My father always told me: "don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive anyway" So there you go. Let go of the stress and worry and live your life, you are fine, your are loved.

Tuesday, October 14/14

It's all in your head... literally!

You create your own reality, what you think is what you are. 

Most of us are under the impression that we are positive thinkers, but try monitoring your thinking for a few days. You will see that there are constant messages running through your mind. Random thoughts such as: 'I'm too fat,' I hate my hair,' I'm never going to get anywhere,' or I'll never find the right guy.' These are some fairly minor pessimistic beliefs that will play over and over, if this is your mind set. But, of course, there are some deep, damaging thoughts that can destroy a person, that may be playing as well. The good news is that you are in charge of what you allow in your head, and what you choose to believe. Assess your thoughts, decide whether they are true or not. Do they serve you?

Are you setting limitations on yourself or setting yourself up? 

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right."  

Henry Ford

Whatever the scenario, if you are not open to it, you are blocking it with your beliefs. You need to change your thinking, concerning what is happening. Having your mind closed to possibilities will severely limit your growth. It is not only women that have a right to change their minds. If your thinking is holding you back, stop, and turn it around. It's not written in stone, it can go another way, there are always options. If you continue to think the same way you will get the same results. Live a life of infinite possibilities.

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Dr. Wayne Dyer 

Saturday, October, 11/14

I am Canadian, and Thanksgiving is this weekend for us. Gratitude is on the menu, along with the traditional turkey and fixin's. Being grateful is what the holiday is all about; the harvest, the bounty of our nation, together with family and friends. We are so blessed in this country and this celebration affords us the time to reflect on all that we have received. 

We express gratitude so well on the holiday, but how about the rest of the time? Gratitude is an emotion expressing appreciation for what you have: you can increase your well-being and happiness by being grateful on a regular basis.

Also, by expressing gratitude to others,

with a thank you, a warm hug, or  any chosen expression of appreciation. This will cultivate increased levels of energy, optimism and empathy. How does that sound? 

If your heart feels full, this is gratitude. If someone has done something for you and you feel the 'warm fuzzy', this also is gratitude. Tell the person how you feel, it will make you both feel good. 

And on this Thanksgiving weekend, offer your thanks to the universe for all the abundance in your life. This small prayer we recited as children will suffice quite nicely...

Thank you for the world so sweet, thank you for the food we eat, thank you for the birds that sing. Thank you, God, for everything. Amen

Happy Columbus Day to our American Friends!

Friday, October 10/14

So often when you are immersed in something life altering, you don't notice have far you have come. You may be heartbroken, depressed, grieving or literally just treading water, and all the little changes are indistinguishable to you. Whatever has happened, you are fully absorbed in the pain, the moment. 

Now having just said that, I have just had an insight... When the moments are big, ie. winning the lottery, someone dear passing on, the birth of a child, momentous occasions... we are totally present in the moment. We all try to work at being present at all times, not projecting into the future  nor digging in the past ... being aware, and being there. But on a day  to day basis, our minds are wandering into both past and future. So, it appears that the world isn't big enough for us, because we ARE present when things are huge, monumental, or noteworthy. I will reflect on that.

I do know that when you are going through a hard time, it is challenging for a reason, you are learning something. You will come out of it better off than you were to start with. If you lost all you money, for example, you may not come out of it a multimillionaire, but you will have learned lessons concerning your money issues and be better off because of it. You WILL be grateful for what you have learned. 

Even though, during the crisis, your fondest dream was to win the lottery, instead, you learned that you could be independent, self sufficient and quite happy even without a huge windfall. So things didn't work out as you had hoped, even so, you have grown and learned a multitude of lessons.

When you look back, down the road, you will be amazed at the many benefits there were to this disaster. Consider how much you have grown, that you are OK, and realize that the universe is open to you and for you!

Thursday, October 9/14

If egg is broken by outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside.

Block out the outside forces, those that are trying to tell you what to do and how to live your life. Everyone is different, no two people do or see things the same way. Other people have different perceptions, they come from a different place.  

"We don't see the world as it is, we see it as WE are."

Someone that is telling you not to do something you want to do, is concerned about their own fears. It is not about you. They are afraid.

In the first place: do not put yourself in a position that someone's opinion is going to seal your fate. 

In the second place: If what you want to do involves risk, this is scary for a huge majority of the population. 

They are too afraid to do what you intend to do, and all that fear is projected on you; listing all the reason why this idea will not work. They are not thinking rationally about your concept, they are merely afraid. This is not someone to trust your decision to. The one person that has the answers to what YOU should do is YOU.

You need to seek within. Look inside, you have the answers, only you know what is best for you... it requires trust. Trust in yourself, your capabilities, your intellect, your drive etc. Ask yourself questions to start with, in order to find your answers. The answers will be specific to you.

You don't have to seek approval from others, you arrived here on this planet fully equipped. You can handle yourself, by yourself. You know what you want in life. Somewhere inside, you are aware of your all wants, needs and desires. You only need to get in touch with your inner wisdom. Try to quiet your mind. Use any method that works for you and your lifestyle; from meditation to running. Find something that allows you freedom to think, without major interruptions. Once your mind is clear, it is important to listen for the answers, then follow your wisdom.

Wednesday, October 8/14

"Finish each day and be done with it.. you have done what you could."

Put yourself to bed, be grateful for your life, and have a sound sleep. 

Too many people spend sleepless nights, worrying about their day. 'Did they say the wrong thing?' 'Should they have chosen another route?' 'What will happen tomorrow?' etc. The things is: whatever you did or did not do, has already passed. You reacted to something, it's done. You can make amends, but you cannot change what has already taken place. 

There is a inordinate amount of time spent on regrets, "could have, should have, would have'. The fact is you didn't. That's it. You did what you did, good or bad, and it's done. This is how it stands, regretting it will not make it go away. The only solution to regret is to atone for it and then let it go. Take responsibility for your words and actions, apologize, learn from it and move forward. We all screw up, we all say things that we wish we hadn't, we do things that don't make any sense, even to us. We are only human, after all, we all react to different situations and then wonder why we did. Don't be so hard on yourself, just carry on, and see what tomorrow brings.

“Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” ― Anne of Green Gables - L M Montgomery

We need to forgive ourselves for our blunders and start each new day with a clean slate.  

“This new day has greeted us with no rules; unconditional opportunity. Do not dilute the power of this new day with the hardship of yesterday. Greet this day the way it has greeted you; with open arms and endless possibility.”  -Steve Maraboli

Tuesday, October 7/14

"Let go of your expectations. The universe will do what it will. Sometimes your dreams will come true. Sometimes they won't. Sometimes when you let go of a broken dream, another one gently takes its place. Be aware of what is, not what you would like to be, taking place"~ Melody Beattie

Melody Beattie says it all in this quote. She has a compelling story, that has afforded her numerous insights on life.

Expectations... definitely cause a lot of problems. We project expectations on everyone and everything, and then we're disappointed when things don't work out as we wanted. We set ourselves up for this very disappointment. You can set high expectations for yourself, but you can't expect others to live up to them; especially when they don't even know what they are. It's madness, but familiar, isn't it?

“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” Shakespeare

The universe will do what it will....Things will happen for you if they are meant to and when the time is right. Sometimes you will seem to get everything you could ever want and other times it appears as though no one hears you. There is a force greater than us, and a time for every purpose under heaven. You will always receive what you need, not necessarily what you want.

Sometimes when you let go, you allow other, better, things to happen. Holding on to the past can block the flow. We need to simply relax, trust and allow things to flow naturally. Breathe, Believe and Receive

Live in the here and now, it is really all there is. The past is gone, and other than a short visit to clear something up, there is no need to hang out there. The future is a mystery, you have no way of knowing what will happen there. Trying to foresee the future is just another way to set yourself up for disappointment. Be aware of what is, not what you would like to be taking place.

Yesterday does not exist, tomorrow is a myth, today is all there is. Enjoy it!

Monday, October 6/14

"When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance" Lee Ann Womack

'When you get the choice', I think is the operative phrase. Having fun is a choice. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood we have stopped playing. Our leisure time is TV or computer time, not fun. As adults we take ourselves too seriously, and make our lives all about work, competition or obligation.

We have talked about it not being the situation that causes stress, but your reaction to it. I think most adults assume that they have to stay and debate, argue, challenge or defend whatever the subject, and it just may not have occurred to them that there is a choice. You do not have to be stoic, serious or stern all the time. Not with your kids, the office or the town hall meeting. I know that kids need discipline and you have an image to present at the office BUT you have a choice..... to sit it out or DANCE. 

'Adult play is a time to forget about work and commitments, and to be social in an unstructured, creative way. The focus of play is on the actual experience, not on accomplishing any goal' helpguide.org

Playing is simply at time to enjoy yourself, relax, no rules, no risk just fun. Try it out, consider fun. It doesn't matter what you do, just move your body....something physical will let you know you are still alive.

Dancing is a great place to start...turn up the volume and DANCE. You will find the kids will join in right away. Throw your hands and feet into the air and feel any stress related thoughts disappear from your mind. Feel your body relax, and your backbone flip. You will get a workout, you will feel better and there might even be some laughter.  Now that you have made the choice to dance and have fun, you are relaxed and yet rejuvenated.  You will be calmer, more relaxed person to be around. You'll sleep well tonight.. Good for you!

The picture up above is Jennifer Aniston kicking up her heels

  

Sunday, October 5/14

Snoopy has the right idea, hard times require furious dancing... 

Sometimes there is just no other way to go. If you find yourself down in the dumps about some problem, you can't get it off your mind and things look bleak... throw yourself into a furious dance... what a remarkable change that will make in your attitude.

It is fun, gets your heart rate up, and good for the soul; you may find yourself laughing instead of obsessing. It is a break from the hard times and enjoyable all at once. Throw caution to the winds and try a Snoopy dance. 

Too much time is spent in worry and obsession, all fear driven reactions. You are only here for a short time. Why waste what time you have fretting about what may or may not happen to you?  Worrying does not change the outcome. It may fill your time, while you wait for the situation to change, but it will change nothing. Either face it and change it, or if the situation is out of your control, then just get on with your life.

It seems that  a lot of people feel they are actively participating if they are worrying themselves to death about something; and if they are not worrying, that they don't care or don't realize what is going on (in denial). It could not be more untrue. The people that are allowing the flow of life, have faith and trust in themselves and the universe. They know that no matter what happens, they will be OK. They do not assume the worst, but are aware enough to know that if the worst is to happen, they can and will handle it. So they move forward with their lives, and continue to live with gratitude for what is right in their world.

Let go of the fear driven reactions to everything around you. You deserve to have a happy, calm life. Most of the 'stuff' people worry about hasn't even happened yet, and most likely never will.  Fill you head instead with music and then just DANCE.

"Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.... I hope you dance."

I Hope You Dance - LeeAnn Womack