Good Monday Morning

My daughter, Tyra and my grandson, Kenzie are arriving today from Bali, Indonesia. I am sure we will be filling all the days with Pacific Coast fun. So you may or may not be hearing from me until late in July.

A heartfelt thank you to all that are reading my blog. It is personal for me and and I hope it resonates with you. Have a great summer, enjoy your loved ones and give yourself a hug! 

 Remember how far you have come

All of us seem to be working on our "stuff", and sometimes it seems that we are getting nowhere. We work on things, we face things, we let things go, but still more things keep popping up. It is never ending, there is always more, you never have it all figured out. As soon as you think you have, boom, another big one hits. 

That, of course, is the reason we are here...to learn and grow.Thankfully, you only have "stuff" popping up as you are ready to deal with it. The issues that are hidden deep within will not emerge all at once. You will be given them small doses to make it easier to handle. As of today, you may have removed or at least shaken up a layer or two, but undoubtedly, there is still a long way to go. ....

Sometime you may feel as though you have conquered a particular problem and are finally free of it, when it comes back in another form or with a different person. Some things are simply tests for you to see if you actually have conquered that issue.

But, with all this, you ARE growing, you are "getting it" on some level. You are always "better" than you were yesterday. If you are working on YOU, there is improvement. Just because everything is not perfect, yet, doesn't mean there is no progress. 

Sometimes, we need a little reminder of where we started, how far we have come. There are two people in my life that were given the blessing of just that this week. They both got a glimpse of how life was a year or so ago, and realized that life is so much better now. This is a divine gift. Never doubt that, you too, are on your path, and exactly where you are supposed to be.

"I think a Spiritual journey is not so much a journey of discovery. It is a journey of recovery. It's a journey of uncovering your own inner nature. It's already there." Billy Corgan

Let it be!   Let it be!  Let it be!  Let it be!  Let it be!  Let it be!  Let it be!

To continue the Beatles' profound lyrics..... 

Let it be, I think that this has been the hardest lesson of all for me. I found that being on my own, really brought out the control freak in me. You have to set priorities, get things done, because there is no one else to fall back on. So trying to control the outcome of any situation became the a natural response for me. 

Well, control is an illusion. You cannot control anything. Learning to go with the flow, live life and let it be was very difficult for me. To let things happen as they will, rather than being up front and center with instructions for everything and everyone was a major learning curve. I didn't realize that I was trying to run the universe, but I definitely was. My work fed this demon nicely, because I was the boss and the instructor, so it was expected that I run everything, but I handled life with the same attitude. 

If things did not happen when I felt they should, I would jump in and start pushing buttons to get things moving. It was exhausting. I felt I had to take control of things, because I had to be responsible for keeping my life on track. I was harassing life to proceed on my schedule, my way, and with the desired results.

I now know that I was internally driven because I felt that I had to make things happen to survive. It was "if I don't do it, who will?" This is fear, it will get you nowhere.

Life has it's own rhythm, things happen when they happen. You can't speed them up and you can't dictate how they turn out. So you might just as well, sit back, relax and enjoy. In this particular area, you are not in charge.You need to just let it be. Things will work out as they are meant to. Have you noticed that they always do? Sometimes it is not exactly as you would have expected, but it's always in your best interest. 

I have found that even when things appear to go from bad to worse, in retrospect it was precisely what I needed. You are always right where you need to be. 

So my message has been, quit trying to run the entire show, slow down, pay attention and get out of my own way. If you take anything from this blog today, let it be to trust yourself, trust the universe and allow life to unfold as it should. You deserve everything the universe has to offer and if you allow it to happen, it will.

 "All you need is love, love is all you need" -                         The Beatles

Isn't it amazing how the Beatles' lyrics make so much sense... who knew? We sang all the songs, knew all the words, but how many did we actually process? Maybe it was just me, I think I went with the tune and the refrain, all wrapped up in my teen years. But now I am finding the words to those old songs quite profound. 

Sorry, rambling....the point is that this is really all you need to know. Love is all you need. Love is the answer, it doesn't matter what the question is. 

Everything needs to be approachd with love. All those times that someone irritates you, handle it with love. When you feel the anger rising over some minor offense, handle it with love, when an apology is required, give it with love, and when the kids are driving you up the wall, handle them with love. 

You have such a short amount of time with your children, and they need to be sent off knowing their parents love them. That is actually your only job, besides keeping them alive. Love gives them a base, a "go to" point when things get tough, they have confidence and feel safe, because they are loved.

All it takes is awareness, you need to stop and think before you start to reply to any explosive situation, and then calmly state your case. Be the first to apologize, it is not always important to be right, it's more important to be loving, considerate and kind. Treat the people in your life with love and respect and they will return the behavior in kind.

If you love someone tell them, everyone likes to hear that they are loved. No one ever complained that their husband/wife says I love you too often. Spread it around, your kids, your parents, your friends, it's good to hear, and extremely therapeutic to say. Appreciate that loving feeling, it's good for the soul.

LOVE is ALWAYS the answer

Gratitude:

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." John F. Kennedy

I think many of us feel gratitude when something really great happens, or when we are expecting something to go wrong and it turns out to fine; then we loudly declare "Oh thank God."

But in our everyday lives, we seem to fixate on what is wrong, what we think we are lacking, what we think we need, and forget all about being grateful for what we do have. There is always something to be grateful for, no matter what your circumstances.  

When things in your life are giving you trouble, the baby crying, the dishwasher not working, all the regular day to day "stuff" that grinds you down: take a moment and look in the face of that baby and be grateful, try washing the dishes, enjoy the ritual and be thankful you had food to eat on those dirty plates and family to eat it with. I know that sounds cheesy, but it really is that simple. All around you, if you look, you will find a multitude of things to be grateful for, even when it appears that everything is going wrong.

So surrender your problems to the universe, and make sure you let them go completely. Just do your life and go with the flow, your problems are under new management. Then start practicing gratitude, look around at all that is yours, your health, your family/friends, your belongings etc. and say thank you. If all your prayers consisted of only “thank you” that would be enough. 

You will find that things will run much smoother when you feel grateful and say thank you for your blessings. Let go of the negativity surrounding what is wrong with your life and BE GRATEFUL and THANKFUL for everything that is right! Make this an everyday event, there is always a bright side!

The connection:

We are all part of a greater whole, a much larger circle than we may be aware of. Everything you do has the capacity to touch, even change, someone's life. Many times you do not know the effect you have on a person, you are just being you. Sometimes, you are blessed to have that person express their gratitude, sometimes you are not. 

We need to be aware of how we are interacting and communicating with the world for this very reason. Sarcasm and flippancy are extremely overworked, they show a lack of self-esteem, actually, but they show the world ignorance. 

"They" say that things said or done may come back to haunt you, and that may be true; but I think the positive effect one has on other, just doing what they do, is the most extraordinary. Small things: giving your place in line to someone with one or two items, allowing them to move forward faster, giving your cart to the next person with the quarter/dollar still in it, random acts of kindness, have a vast effect on people and their morale. You can make someone's day, by doing something that appears insignificant to you. Recognize the clerk, be polite, say thank you. Everyone has their own problems and you really don't need to be one of them. 

Look beyond the exterior of each person you meet, everyone has a story, and you never really know who you are talking to, or what impression you will leave with them.. forever! 

And, of course, this kindness does not exclude the people in your own family or inner circle. Although it's hard to believe, most people are kinder to strangers than the ones they love, be aware of this. The respect and love is just as, if not more, important at home as in the street.

So, the long and the short of it is: be kind to each other, pay attention to what you are saying, go out of your way once in awhile and do something for someone else. Create your own legacy. Love is all you need.

Interesting isn't it? Are you living in fear?

“Love is what we are born with.

Fear is what we learn.

The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices

and the acceptance of love back in our hearts”

Marianne Williamson

Sometimes being afraid isn't as obvious as fear of flying, or being afraid of the dark; it is being afraid of something that may or may not happen, something that could happen, fear of change, and the "what if" syndrome. "What if" can be projected into almost any situation.  "What if" I get sick? "what if" we have an earthquake? 

The fact is the fears are created in our minds, we can be afraid of anything or everything. There is usually a trigger, set in your youth or a specific incident that triggers the "fight or flight" stance that we jump directly into. Fear is considered a "healthy" emotion when there is indeed danger on the horizon, it keeps you on your toes. The issue is when there isn't any danger and yet the fear is there. This is living in fear, you are conjuring it up in your mind, simply searching for a reason to be scared.

By projecting our thoughts into the future, we can come up with many imaginary fears. Many have fears of contracting disease, germs, losing their job, etc.  At the moment none of these things are taking place, but they are living their life afraid that they will. Fear can keep people from having any quality of life., and will usually result in you creating exactly what you were afraid of. The biggest fear for most is the fear of dying. I have found that a trust in the universe, a higher power, and an understanding that you never really die, you live on, will give you the comfort, a safety net, if you will. 

How many of the "what ifs" in your life have actually happened? Don't even entertain thoughts of "what if", think of all the "good" things that happen to you, not what may. Be grateful, love, trust and realize that you are OK, that you have always been OK, there is really nothing to be afraid of. We are all spirits on a human journey, we will return from whence we came. All is well. So what would YOU do if you weren't afraid?

This quote certainly opens a can of worms, doesn't it? 

How often does this happen? You are struggling to maintain the status quo, to keep everything and everybody happy, to keep the situation from exploding in your face; and what is she/he doing? Why are you fighting so hard to "keep it together?" 

It's fear, it's just too scary to even consider walking away from this relationship. There are a plethora of excuses why not to move on, but the reality is: it is just fear of the unknown, being alone, not being able to support yourself, and the usual "what will people think"? On the other hand, you may think that you love him/her, or you feel you can help them or fix them or you hope they need you. 

All of these are just excuses, they may seem like valid reasons at this moment but this is not about them, it's not about the children, it is about YOU. You are staying because of your fears, not for any other reason. 

If you really valued yourself, you would not spend one minute with someone that did not. So if you are in a relationship where you are putting in the time and effort to repair the damages done, and the other person in the relationship is not totally invested in that same mission, you are flogging a dead horse.

I understand that decisions like this are not easy to make. I also understand that you have history and "time served" to consider, but your health and happiness certainly deserve a fighting chance to survive. This person may not be the blessing you envisioned, but merely a lesson. When you understand what they are here to teach you, it will change your life; but for now, you will continue to do what you do, until you don't. In the meanwhile, work on you - trusting you, loving you, and embracing the wonderful spirit within .

"This above all, to thine own self be true" William Shakespeare

Simple Life

Leading a simple life does not necessarily mean you have to downsize your home and everything in it. It can also mean cutting down on your emotional baggage, and allowing time for some self-love and exploration . 

It is amazing how simple life becomes when you eliminate drama, drop the dead wood, and let other people have their own lives, while you take care of yours and yours only. 

A stress-free or even a stress-less life, can you imagine it? The sad part about that thought is: stress - all the running around, all the worry, all the negative thoughts, are formed in your own head. Most of them have little to do with fact or reality. Fictitious disasters abound. Really? What is there to worry about exactly? Did you, honestly just create something to worry about? Do you feel that if you are not fretting that it looks like you don't care? Or is it all just drama, with some people pleasing, and attention seeking thrown in? Stress less, laugh more! 

Practice gratitude. Be thankful for anything and everything, it elevates your energy level and good things will come to you. The way to "get" is to be grateful for what you already have. 

Spread your love around, everybody loves love. And take some time for yourself, read a book, take a bubble bath, have a nap, seek joy.

Spend some time reflecting on your life, what are your needs, are they fulfilled, are you happy, do you take time for yourself, do you have passion, do you love? Then,  BREATHE, BELIEVE & RECEIVE, everything is waiting for you

You deserve to live your best life, it's simple!

"You is Kind

You is Smart

You is Important"

Aibileen - The Help

   

Forgiveness: 

"To err is human, to forgive divine" Alexander Pope

It seems that most people feel that forgiveness is allowing the person that hurt you to "get away with it." Nothing could be further from the truth. 

As Louise Hay states here, it is not about them, it is allowing YOU to release the bonds that bind you. 

"When we forgive someone, the knots are untied, and the past is released" Reshad Feild

When someone does something to you that alters your life plan, you are the one reliving it on a daily basis. Things happen in life that may affect you, you may be devastated, and depending on the violation, the perpetrator may be as well. It may be simply an accident, with nothing premeditated surrounding it, it just took place. Other situations were well thought out and planned, with you as the victim.

We each have to live with ourselves, and your job is to make your life better. You cannot save the others, or the world, you can only work on YOU. So if you are carrying the burden of hurt, anger or resentment toward someone that has dimmed your light in some way, forgiveness is the answer. 

Mayo Clinic: "Forgiving this person, does not condone the act, or deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness is letting go of grudges and bitterness. When someone hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentments and thoughts of revenge, or embrace forgiveness and move forward." 

Forgiveness is entirely about you, and making your life better, allowing you to continue toward a happier future.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness' only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Martin Luther King Jr.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong" Mahatma Gandhi

This quote really spoke to me, because it is so pertinent to to my life recently. I feel that if something speaks to me, there must be  others that will find it resounding with them.

Something really terrible, your worst case   scenario has taken place, and you feel as though your life is over. You  cannot imagine how you will ever make it through this situation. How can you go on? 

Things happen, events take place, life is like that. Birth and death, sickness and health, richer and poorer, breakups and accidents, etc. Sometimes it is just too much, you really are having a hard time getting over this particular "straw that broke the camel's back."

But, of course, you do. Something else takes place and you are distracted with a new vision and the sun shines once more. This is the amazing thing about life is that we have this resiliency to continue even when we were certain that we could not.

We simply go forward with our everyday living, until at some point, we revisit that hard time we had. We have an acute awareness of how heart wrenching that particular circumstance was, and exactly what has changed for us since that time. We then realize that we were truly despondent and at the end of our rope and yet we carried on. 

By living through, and truly feeling the emotions of our story, we found ourselves at a new beginning, a fresh page in the continuing storybook of our lives. Through the darkness to the light. 

Now with this fresh, page of new beginnings, how will you tell your story? Will you talk about the painful ending or will you put all your energy into the new beginning?

"Your heartache is someone else's hope. If you make it through somebody else is going to make it through, tell your story" Kim McManus

I have come to understand, during my journey, that we choose this life; we choose our parents and all the people surrounding us. We also choose when and if we want to come back to the earth plane. We choose our sex and all our relationships. We choose everything that happens to us, the good, the bad and the ugly; in order to perfect. 

It’s the yin and the yang...without the bad times how will you recognize the good times? It’s all set up before we are born...it’s a plan, a blueprint. 

In fact, as I learned recently, our life’s purpose is even written in our fingerprints, like a branding. Jill M. Boadway is a reader of of hands and of fingerprints. She is able to tell you your own unique life's purpose. It is an amazing experience to sit with Jill and have her tell you why you are here. (www.handanalysisvancouver.com) Thanks, Jill  We have been sent here or we have come back to earth, however you choose to see it, with a secret coding as to who we are. That is so powerful!

If there is someone in your life that makes you feel bad about yourself, in any way, this person is here for the lesson, for you, for your growth. 

And the others that sustain you, your family, your life partners, your friends, all the ones you feel forever blessed to have in your circle; are obviously the blessings. 

You will meet both types throughout your life, they will help, in their own way, on your journey. There are no accidents, you met them for a reason, which will become clear to you soon enough. Even the people you thought you would rather not have met, have something to teach you, or you them. It is profound and wonderful how it all works out, how we all learn and grow. 

So go outside and enjoy the sunshine, all is well.

Have you ever made a mistake?

mis·take  məˈstāk noun

1. 1.

   an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong.

Whose decision was it to call it a "mistake"? Was it really a "mistake", or was it exactly what was meant to be? Maybe it was part of the plan, do you know for sure that it was a "mistake?" You may have jumped into something that you knew very well would cause some problems for you or someone else, but in the scheme of things, do you know for sure that it was a "mistake?" Maybe it was simply meant to be. 

I think many of us carry burdens that someone deemed a "mistake." There are at least two sides to every story and each person will see it differently. This "mistake" may have led you in the right direction, or stopped you from doing something that may be considered worse than a "mistake", like a misdemeanor.

The consensus is that you made a "mistake."  But did you? If we are just doing life, going with the flow; then there are no mistakes, no coincidences, everything happens for a reason. So then what are these "mistakes" all about?

These are lessons, the opportunity to change the way you are living and/or avoiding your life. The lessons are for you, to aid in your growth. It is not the universe picking on you, no one is “out to get you”, in fact it is quite the reverse. It is a chance. It’s a chance to slow down and take a look at your life. What is out of balance? What needs to be addressed? 

Are you open to considering that those "mistakes" made in your life, are really not mistakes at all, but a chance to look at each scenario and see exactly where it led you? What was the out come of that "mistake?" How did things change in your life? What what was the silver lining? Are you a better person because of this "mistake?"

And then realize that these "mistakes" that you are now standing on, are elevating you to a new level in your growth.

In order to live a happy, healthy  life we need to revisit the past and find out what is holding us back. You will really need to "look" at whatever you have buried there. Then work on your "stuff" if you plan on moving forward. 

So many people block out sections of their lives, because they feel they are too painful to look at. Although this certainly seems logical, "why bring all that stuff up, you can't change it anyhow", but the fact is if you do not look at it, it will manifest into something, like disease. 

We come to this planet perfect, and of course we remain perfect, but we pick up "stuff" - hurts, pain, resentments,  and issues, as we grow. Buttons are installed and we find ourselves reacting to all kinds of stimuli. You may not even be aware of any issues holding you back, they are buried so deep. But the fact remains, if you don't dive into that deep well where all the pain resides, you will find yourself dealing with something else.  

Emotional issues will manifest themselves into physical problems, accidents, financial issues, divorce, a variety of things that just appear to go wrong. This is a way of getting your attention. If this is happening to you, think back to all the little hints, nudges you have received, trying to get you to look at what you do not want to look at. This is the reason for us being here... we are dealt negative situations in order to have that experience, heal it and grow.

Now that being said, the idea is to dig down into the hole where the issues are buried, bring them up, deal with them, and let them go. It is not to dive in and inhabit the hole. This isn't healthy either, to become a victim for the cause, to get caught up in the sadness and emotion of all of it. 

Everyone has something, no one has gotten a free pass, and in order to live your best life you need to let it go. Now, as an adult, you can look at it honestly, admit what actually happened, be responsible for your part in it, and give it a loving send off. Get free from the pain of the past. Write down the issues and go back in time for each one, face them, and forget them. They are no longer valid in your life. You will feel so much lighter without them. 

Do you imagine that you can be or do anything you desire? Do you know that you are in charge of your life? You and only you can make yourself happy or sad.

You are running the show. This is your life. And the marvelous thing about it is... you choose how you want to start each day, how you want to interact with others, how you want to be... it is up to you. Isn't that fabulous? If you want to be happy then - be happy. The circumstances do not matter .. it is how you choose to react to them... If you become aware of how you react to different situations, and pay close attention to each reaction, eventually you will be happy, no matter what is happening around you

We have discussed happiness already, but this is more in depth and besides that, I loved the picture. I mentioned that happiness is a state of mind and I stand by that, but there is more to this idea.

Most people feel that "when I win the lottery, I will be happy," "When I finally get the man I want, then I will be happy," " when I have children, then I can relax and be happy,"etc. This is wishing your life away, this is nuts. The time to be happy is now, no matter what is happening. Being happy is a choice, it is up to each of us to decide, TODAY, that we are not going to waste one more day in the dark. Your smile/laugh will light up the world. All it takes is realizing that you are OK, you are safe, you can depend on yourself. It takes trusting that the universe is there for you, that it is open to you and wants to aid you on your journey. 

It also takes the realization that you are not accomplishing anything by pouting, whining, or having temper tantrums. That will get you nowhere. So take care of the problem, be responsible, but put a smile on your face while you do it. You will feel so much better and amazingly you will start enjoying your life more, you will be calmer, your future will look brighter and people will enjoy being around you more.

So imagine yourself happy, and then just do it.

Are you dancing as fast as you can? 

Seriously, can't you go any faster, can't you do just one more thing? Why can't you fit IT into your schedule? Remember, there are still 5 things on your to do list. Why can't you get everything done in a day, are you lazy, an underachiever, or is it just that you haven't got your priorities straight yet? What is taking you so long, what do I have to do, to get it through your head? I want this done, NOW!

Why are you trying to do everything for everyone? Why are you trying so hard? What are you trying to prove? If you're not doing IT, you're worrying about IT, agonizing over IT, and obsessing about IT, which is just as strenuous. 

Aren't you exhausted?  Just STOP IT. You don't need to do this anymore. You are enough, you are worthy, you are loved. STOP! 

This is the defining moment...

Who is making you do everything? Who is the boss of you? YOU ARE! No one else can be the boss of you; you are an adult. No one can make you do anything. This is about you. You  don't feel what you do is enough because you don't feel you are enough. 

You are a child of the universe,

No less than the trees and the stars“

You have a right to be here

And whether or not it is clear to you

The universe is, no doubt, unfolding as it should”

Max Ehrmann - excerpt from Desiderata 1927

Trust and accept.... the entire universe is open for you, open for everyone. You have a right to be here, you are important and you are enough. YOU are loved