#133 - Faced with inevitable change....
I am looking at change, in this case, as any type of movement. Formerly, if I felt stuck in any process that was not moving forward, for example: if I thought what I was doing was the right thing to do, or I felt something was my responsibility, I would fight until my spirit was weary, before I would finally give it up to the universe and try to let it go.
I don't know whether this was stubbornness, control issues, determination or tunnel vision. I would try to make it right, even to my own determent. But at the time when you are 'in' the circumstance, you don't realize that you are fighting a losing battle. You seem to think that you are fixing things and keep right on fighting.
This was a hard fought lesson for me, I was the one to get things done, to fix things, to create harmony and when I hit a brick wall, it still didn't stop me. It had always worked, or so I thought, until it no longer did. I had to start to consider myself and my stress level and surrender some of the difficulties and complications. I had to stop making mountains out of molehills, making such a big deal out of every little hiccup. Eventually, if you work on it, you reach the trust level... you trust that things will work out, that nothing is that big a deal, and that you can handle it no matter what the outcome. You end up being grateful, you realize that all the hurdles were just lessons, nudges, trying to get your attention.
And the lessons were to accept, surrender, and trust.
You are OK, all is well.