Tuesday, 23 February 2016


I am responsible for what
I say, I am not responsible 
for what you understand.

You can only take responsibility for what you say, not how someone understands it. This much is true... you really cannot anticipate how anyone will take anything and you can't control what they understand. 

But I think you need to be responsible for how you voice what you say. If someone is hurt or offended by you yelling at or belittling them, what is your responsibility? And if you spout off unsolicited advice about a person's life choices that aggravates or angers that person, what is your responsibility? If you are deliberately trying to hurt someone or to simply trying to be right, then the onus has to be on you. Are you  'setting up' a disagreement on purpose? 

Obviously, the other person has a choice about their reaction to what you say, but you cannot just pin the blame/responsibility on them, excusing yourself of any liability, saying whatever comes into your head. This is emotional manipulation. What exactly is your intention? In cases such as these, you are talking AT someone, not communicating with them, and things, therefore, get misunderstood. Communication is a two-way street, in which you try to make sure that the other person understands you ... your intention is to be understood.

The point is... you have no control over how someone receives or processes what you say, but you are definitely responsible for what you do say. You need to mind your own business and not try to control everything. Choose your words carefully, be kind and remember, everyone is important and deserves to be treated with respect. 

In this life you are responsible for yourself, everything you do and say.