You hate when people see you cry because you want to be that strong girl.
At the same time, though, you hate how nobody notices how torn apart and broken you are.
I think most people, male or female can identify with this quote. We are often torn between how we actually feel and how best to present and protect ourselves.
Of course, much depends on where you are and who you are with, whether or not you want to expose yourself as being weak and vulnerable. You don't trust anyone enough to be so unprotected and if you remove the mask you will be powerless, right? All the torn apart and broken pieces of you will be exposed for all the world to see. And you sure as hell aren't going to fall for that.
The thing is, you are human and life can get you down. Human beings have emotions and sometimes they leak out. It doesn't make you any less, it just makes you human. Keeping yourself closed off, building walls has been your protection for a very long time, hasn't it? It's the main form of self-preservation that's held you together so far and now the question is: is it still valid at this time in your life? Do you still need a defense system to function today? Do you still feel you need protection? Isn't it exhausting always being the strong girl?
It may be time to revisit this particular reaction. If you ponder it .... the trauma you survived in your life erected the brick wall around you. Would that trauma have the same effect today? You are not the helpless child any longer, you are not powerless, you are an adult. Try taking down a few of the bricks and see what happens, you are in charge. Share your story, don't give up one more minute of your life.
"Being strong means rejoicing in who you are complete with imperfections." Margaret Woodhouse