Anytime you blame others and complain about your situation, you are choosing to be a victim.
By playing the victim role, you are putting yourself in an ineffective and weak position.
It is virtually impossible to allow incredible miracles to enter your life when you choose to remain in this negative state.
How often is this the case? Someone has done you wrong, said something unkind and/or untrue, hurt your feelings or judged you and this is the 'go to' response.... blame and complain. It's the old 'Winning through Whining' retaliation. Although the winning portion would not be the case. You may think that if you complain loudly enough, mixed with enough big words, you will win, but playing the victim does not, in any way, put you in that position.
Of course, you are in a negative state when you willingly accept the victim role. Never doubt that you accepted the role, no one can make you act in a particular way, it is your choice how to respond. They can't make you mad enough or hurt you enough, it is your choice. Something someone said struck a note with you and guilt slipped in, contributing to the weak stance you took with the blame and complain campaign.
This is a self-esteem issue you may have felt you had dealt with, but here it is again. These specific types of situations will continue to show up in your life until you deal with them.
It is not your job to worry about what others think of you, the only opinion that matters is the one you have of yourself. You know who you are. Whatever anyone else is saying is simply their opinion, it does not make it true. You don't have to justify or explain yourself to anyone. Stand tall, you have it all.
What other people think of you is none of your business