#387

Be yourself.

Life is precious as it is.

All the elements for your happiness are already here.

There is no need to run,

strive, search or struggle.

JUST BE.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Be yourself. Do you know who you are, who you really are? The first step toward becoming who you really are is to spend some time looking within, finding out what makes you tick. Then go with it. Never change for anyone, don't twist yourself into what you think people want you to be. You are perfect just the way you are.

"You have the right and the responsibility to be your most authentic, magnificent self." Fabienne Fredrickson

Happiness is within, do not search without. You will never find happiness, no matter how extensively you search for it. It is not in the new job, the new house or the new lover, no one can give it to you. You don't have to strive toward it or make a great effort to achieve it; everything you are looking for, you already possess.

Life was never meant to be a struggle, it will only become one if you are fighting everything. If you go with the flow and eliminate negativity, things will begin to flow very smoothly.  Embrace every challenge, do not fight against the current, accept what IS. This will eliminate unnecessary struggle. Believe in yourself and JUST BE.

"Don't wrestle with spirit, collaborate with it." Sarah Ban Breathnach

#386

Never be defined by your past. 
It was just a lesson, not a life sentence.

Everything that has ever taken place in your life has contributed in some way to who you are today. Your past has provided you with the lessons, coupled with the issues that you will spend the rest of your life overcoming.

“We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.” Rick Warren 

Your past is important, you do need to explore it, find out where all your issues reside, confront them and begin to work on letting them go. You can't change anything that has already happened, but you can forgive, accept and request the highest and best to all concerned.

“Take it from me: If you hear the past speaking to you, feel it tugging up your back and running its fingers up your spine, the best thing to do, the only thing, is run.”  Lauren Oliver, Delirium

The past is a great place to visit, but you don't want to live there; it will hold you back from your growth, your potential, and everything that is waiting for you. Live for today.

“It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it, and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one.” 

― George Harrison

#385

"A long time ago I learned not to explain things to people. It misleads them into thinking they're  entitled to know everything I do."

Lisa Kleypas

If you are explaining yourself to 'people', you need to know that it really isn't anyone's business what you are doing or even thinking. There will be, however, a few very close, intimate friends that you may or may not 'spill your guts' to. 

There is a vast difference between sharing your life with the people that are closest to you and 'giving it up' for just anyone. 

In this age of facebook and Twitter, there seems to be some confusion as to what exactly constitutes friendship. On these web sites, you are attracting 'friends' by your jokes, comments, the friends you already have or the pictures you post. If anyone sends you a friend request and you accept it, you are immediate 'friends' and I've seen that you are also can buy friends for your page. These people don't have a clue who you are, and are only committed to you for entertainment value. They are not your friends. (Personally, Barak Obama is on my Twitter, do you think I consider him a friend? I do not personally know this man, we just don't travel in the same circles.)

People that have actually met you in person, shared your life, your home and family, the ones that have been there for you when needed, your support system, some of them may actually be your friends. These are the people that have your love and trust, these then, would be the people you would consider discussing your life with. No one else is entitled to your private personal info in a conversation. You, of course, can talk to anyone about anything you choose, but be prepared to have them feel entitled to all the details of your life thereafter. It's up to you, although friends deserve a special place in your heart not just a connection via social media.

#384

I am responsible for what
I say, I am not responsible 
for what you understand.

You can only take responsibility for what you say, not how someone understands it. This much is true... you really cannot anticipate how anyone will take anything and you can't control what they understand. 

But I think you need to be responsible for how you voice what you say. If someone is hurt or offended by you yelling at or belittling them, what is your responsibility? And if you spout off unsolicited advice about a person's life choices that aggravates or angers that person, what is your responsibility? If you are deliberately trying to hurt someone or to simply trying to be right, then the onus has to be on you. Are you  'setting up' a disagreement on purpose? 

Obviously, the other person has a choice about their reaction to what you say, but you cannot just pin the blame/responsibility on them, excusing yourself of any liability, saying whatever comes into your head. This is emotional manipulation. What exactly is your intention? In cases such as these, you are talking AT someone, not communicating with them, and things, therefore, get misunderstood. Communication is a two-way street, in which you try to make sure that the other person understands you ... your intention is to be understood.

The point is... you have no control over how someone receives or processes what you say, but you are definitely responsible for what you do say. You need to mind your own business and not try to control everything. Choose your words carefully, be kind and remember, everyone is important and deserves to be treated with respect. 

In this life you are responsible for yourself, everything you do and say.

#383

Let them judge you
let them misunderstand you
Let them gossip about you
Their opinions aren't your problem
You stay kind, committed to love,
and free in your authenticity.
No matter what they do or say
don't you dare doubt your worth
or the beauty of your truth.
Just keep on shining like you do.

I repeat, once again ... what other people think about you is none of your business. This simple statement is very important, something that needs to be deeply implanted in your mind. People will think whatever they want, they will respond to you as their mindset dictates. You cannot spend your life worrying about them and what they are saying. It is merely their opinion, not truth.

Simply being a human being, you will be misunderstood. Everyone is different and we all have diverse points of view depending on our life experiences. We have been socialized by a culture that sets the norms for what is acceptable. So anyone that ventured outside the parameters of the tolerable standard was suspect, misunderstood, judged and a victim of gossip.

This type of negative behaviour says more about the people doing it, than it does about you. Don't let this kind of talk define you, you are more than someone's opinion. You need to be yourself, be authentic, you are the only one that can. No one is more you, than you. You are the one you have been waiting for, you are your life partner. BE the one and only you.

Just be who you want to be,

Not what others want to see.

#382

The more chances you give someone the less respect they'll start to have for you. They'll begin to ignore the standards that you've set because they'll know another chance will always be given. They're not afraid to lose you because they know no matter what you won't walk away. They get comfortable with depending on your forgiveness. Never let a person get comfortable disrespecting you.

Best advice ever. Most of us were raised to give people the benefit of the doubt, everyone deserves a second chance. And many took that advice to heart, maybe to extremes, and gave more and more chances. Always wanting to believe and trust the person, even to their own detriment. They simply did not want to see that the people they allowed in their lives were not who they thought they were.

"There is none so blind as those who will not see" John Heywood

So although this is sound advice and it is good to avoid getting in this deep, it is also a lesson. The lesson you need to learn is: Never let a person get comfortable disrespecting you. The irony of the whole thing is you will stay until you don't. You will be immersed in this lesson until you get it. Until you understand what is missing in you that you would accept disrespect, you will remain, either with this person or the next.

No one can tell another adult what to do. It doesn't matter what you think about your friend that is in one of these relationships. It is up to them, they will do what they do until they don't. That's it. Your job is not to judge, but simply to be there for them throughout the ordeal. Keep your opinions to yourself. It is their path and they are in this place for a good reason. They need to learn to love themselves enough to expect the very best. Until that day comes, they are where they are and you are part of the support system. Be kind.

#381

We do not need magic to change the world.

We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already we have the power to imagine better.

JK Rowling

(I am equating "magic' in this quote to 'miracles'... I believe the words are synonymous in this particular instance)

We have the power within to create magic, miracles and the life we want to live. 

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”  Albert Einstein

If you want the world to be better, you start with yourself. Letting go of negativity, is where you start, understanding that love is all there is, is where you will end up. Recognizing that YOU can depend on YOU will enable you to grasp the concept that you are empowered to create miracles.

“Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.”  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Miracles/magic happens every day... physical healings that baffle the medical community, a perfect solution to a problem when all hope is lost, finding the ideal job, mate, money arriving when it's most needed, or one of the greatest miracles of all, birth.

We are not victims of a random existence in a confusing and possibly hostile world. Life is for us, not against us. 

Not only is it possible to experience a dramatic healing or find the perfect solution to our problems, but it's also possible to express the dream or desire that we haven't dared pursue up to now and to learn how to bring such wonderful experiences into our lives more often. (Excerpts from beliefnet)

#380

Change is inevitable. Your personal and spiritual evolution will always be seen as a betrayal by those whose values you abandon. You have a right to change your values, beliefs and ideas. The discomfort you feel when you attempt to change is just the social control that surrounds you becoming more obvious and bearing down on you.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE SPIRITUAL THAN FREEDOM AND IT IS VERY SPIRITUAL TO VIOLATE OLD BELIEFS FOR NEW VALUES.

Bryant McGill

As you travel your path, you encounter many challenges. Each time you overcome one of these, you change somewhat. Things no longer look exactly the same. This may encourage you to dig deeper on certain issues and, consequently, you change even more. Your ideas adjust, your mind expands, allowing other concepts to enter. Therefore, you start to navigate your life in a different fashion. 

Not everyone will be happy about this, they liked you the way you were or maybe they just don't like the new attitude. You choose certain people at different stages in your life to fulfill some need in you, they do the same. When you change, this throws everything out of balance, they don't feel they can trust you to act as expected, and hence they are uncomfortable around you. You will have a lot of people step away, and you will eliminate even more that no longer fit your situation.

You will have moments of doubting yourself and your 'new' belief system. Usually at times like this, you will receive a confirmation in some form, helping you become aware that you are on the right path and all is well. It is a process, we are here to learn and grow, we will change our thinking, our address, our companions, our clothes and our minds. Life is change, and through change we become more mindful.

"There is nothing more spiritual than freedom and it is very spiritual to violate old beliefs for new values." 

#379

Anytime you blame others and complain about your situation, you are choosing to be a victim.

By playing the victim role, you are putting yourself in an ineffective and weak position.

It is virtually impossible to allow incredible miracles to enter your life when you choose to remain in this negative state.

Sonia Ricotti

How often is this the case? Someone has done you wrong, said something unkind and/or untrue, hurt your feelings or judged you and this is the 'go to' response.... blame and complain. It's the old 'Winning through Whining' retaliation. Although the winning portion would not be the case. You may think that if you complain loudly enough, mixed with enough big words, you will win, but playing the victim does not, in any way, put you in that position. 

Of course, you are in a negative state when you willingly accept the victim role. Never doubt that you accepted the role, no one can make you act in a particular way, it is your choice how to respond. They can't make you mad enough or hurt you enough, it is your choice. Something someone said struck a note with you and guilt slipped in, contributing to the weak stance you took with the blame and complain campaign. 

This is a self-esteem issue you may have felt you had dealt with, but here it is again. These specific types of situations will continue to show up in your life until you deal with them.

It is not your job to worry about what others think of you, the only opinion that matters is the one you have of yourself. You know who you are. Whatever anyone else is saying is simply their opinion, it does not make it true. You don't have to justify or explain yourself to anyone.  Stand tall, you have it all.

What other people think of you is none of your business

#378

"You are loved just for being who you are, just for existing. 

You don't have to do anything to earn it, your shortcomings, your lack of self-esteem, physical perfection, or social and economic success--none of that matters.

No one can take this love away from you, and it will always be here."

-Ram Dass

We have been misinformed about so many significant matters. Religious dogma is about being worthy, doing penance, participating in rituals, confessions etc. in order to secure the love of God; putting conditions on God's love for you. 

You came to this earth plane to experience life, to learn, grow and assist others as they do the same. You will do what you came here to do before you leave. And however that works out, whatever 'mistakes' you think you made are part of your growth. They are not ammunition to  be used against you. The only person judging you will be you.

The entire universe is here to help you with your journey. There are no judgements or recriminations because the universe is LOVE. Earth is the place to experience negativity, in all its forms; this is where negativity lives.  

You are loved beyond measure and nothing you ever do can separate you from that love. 

You just need to do your life, secure in the knowledge that you are, and always have been loved. Stop worrying, listen to your intuition and do your best. Be loving and kind to every living thing and find a way to reduce your stress. Enjoy nature and all this earth has to offer. Everything will be okay and you, too, are okay. Love heals everything, love is all there is. May the force be with you.

#377

The first place we lose the battle is in our own thinking. If you think it's permanent then it's permanent. If you think you've reached your limits then you have. If you think you'll never get well then you won't. You have to change your thinking. You need to see everything that's holding you back, every obstacle, every limitation as only temporary.

"The mind is everything. What you think you become." Buddha

It's so amazing to think of the control you have over everything! It is up to you how you feel every single day, how you react to different situations, whether you can control them or not, everything you do or say. 

You wake up tomorrow and it is pouring rain, no matter how inconvenient you may feel that is, it is your choice how to handle it. You can be frustrated or you can just decide to be happy and go jump in the puddles.

And on a more serious note, you have an appointment with the doctor, and you are afraid of the diagnosis, you have a choice about how you react. If you are scared to death it is a choice and if you can choose to be scared, you can choose not to be. 

If you think you aren't good enough, then you aren't and never will be until you change your thinking. You are the only one that can change it, nobody can tell you that you are enough or try to talk you into believing it, it is up to you. It is your mind telling you these things and you can change your mind. Don't listen to anything negative, from anyone and especially not from you. Fill your head with kindness, love, health, wealth and goodwill and it will be yours.  

#376

Beware of destination addiction: The idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, or even the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.

"Happiness is within, do not seek without." Buddha

It's just geography, it won't solve anything. That's what's said when someone is dissatisfied with their life and decides to move to some foreign country. The fact is if you are dissatisfied, it's usually due to some inner issue as opposed to the place you are living. Obviously, sometimes it actually is the place you are living, or maybe you want to see the world and this is your chance. Both of those are reasonable , so move on. 

But if you think you are going to solve all or any of your problems by leaping into a new locale, a new job, or a new relationship, you are sorely mistaken. The issues go with you. Happiness is only available within you, you can't go somewhere else to find it. No one can give it to you. It may sound like a good idea if things aren't working out for you, to have a change of scenery, but really what needs to happen is inner research. Find out why things aren't working out, why the same things happen over and over and what makes your life unsatisfactory. Take some time with yourself to discover what's really going on.

Once you have released the demons, change is a great idea. But without checking out what is making you take this action, you'll find the same thing happening no matter where you land, what you do, or whom you are with.

#375

Surrender to what is.
Let go of what was.
Have faith in what will be.

Don't look ahead, don't look back, live for today.... 

"If you are feeling anxious you're living in the future. 

If you are depressed, you're living in the past.

If you are at peace, you are living in the present."

Lao Tzu

Accepting things as they are, when they are happening is a major accomplishment in most lives. Many people think they always live in the moment, but upon reflection, you'll probably see that it isn't so. Your mind will jump back and forth between the past and the future throughout your day, so fast and so often, that you don't necessarily even catch on. It's just part of life... you'll think of something that hurt you years ago and then jump to what the kids will be up to tonight. 

What is going on right in front of you? It is often hard to maintain focus, so you simply shake your head and get back to it, but then within seconds, you're off again. Staying in the moment is a process, it takes time and commitment. At first, it feels like being at a boring lecture when your mind just wanders away into other realms. But with practice, you will learn to turn it off, and eventually, stay here in this moment. Life is happening now.

Living in the moment without attaching yourself to regrets about yesterday or worries about tomorrow, goes a long way towards cutting the chaos of everyday life.

#374

Things are as they are,
we suffer because we
imagined different.

Most of our problems are self-created, by having expectations of events, people and even of ourselves.

We want what we want. We want things to work out the way we want them to. We plan, set goals,  work hard and expect success in everything.

We don't pay all that much attention to what is actually going on because we are too focused on doing things our way; either running the show or totally robotic about getting it done. Either way, we have an idea in our head how things should look and that is the way they will look. This is the same recipe we apply to our job, our home, our significant other and all the others around us. 

The most difficult part of 'handling life' is it causes suffering. This is not allowing life to flow,  not living in the now. We are suffering because we thought things should be a certain way. We had a belief system playing in the background, running the show.... work hard, pay attention, work toward your goals, no pain, no gain and so on. This is a struggle, forcing things to go your way... life is not about struggle.

Anxiety happens when we think we have to figure everything out. You can't control everything, sometimes you just have to let go and have faith that things will work out. Let life flow.

"By letting go of what you thought was going to happen in your life, you can enjoy what's actually happening." Taylor Negron

#373

Since the past is unreal and the future is unreal, ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ARE ABOUT NOTHING.

When you are preoccupied, and your mind is wandering, what's it about? Where is your mind at these times? Is it worrying about something that you hope will never happen or about something that happened last week, last year or in your childhood? 

Look around you, everything is okay right now, isn't it? In this moment, you are safe, sitting at your computer, tablet, or phone, you are fine. Right?

And then, out of nowhere, the mind starts looking for something to 'think' about....it starts digging in all the cavities of the past, dredging up all the wrongs that you have suffered, all the people that inflicted pain, the liars, the cheaters, the betrayals, the resentment, the anger and you're off to the races! You can feel your stomach churning and your face burning. 

And if it isn't the past, there is always a trip to the future. You can start worrying about your parents, children, grandchildren, siblings etc. What will happen "if?" You can worry about so many things and so many people, it can keep you revved up for hours.

There is no story, it is only your thoughts about what took place that keeps it going. The past has already happened, you can't change it. The future hasn't happened yet, you can't forsee it. It is all unreal, all thoughts of either the past or the future are about nothing.  Your thoughts are what are causing you pain, don't listen to them.

"A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It's not our thoughts but our attachment to our thoughts that causes suffering." Byron Katie

#372

Survival mode is supposed to be a phase that helps save your life.

It is not meant to be how you live.

Michele Rosenthal

Another name for survival mode is stress. When a person lives forever poised either to attack or be attacked, they  become completely self-absorbed. Everything is about them and how they will overcome everything anyone might say or do to them. They are hyper-vigilant and always preparing for any situation, real or imaginary, that appears threatening to them. This usually causes them to react negatively and often combatively.

If you are living your life in survival mode, you are not living, you are only existing. By blocking off emotions such as fear, anger, resentment etc. you are likewise cutting off love, joy and peace. 

By not expressing or blocking your feelings, you are not portraying yourself honestly  to the people around you, or perhaps even to yourself.  You are hiding your true self behind a mask. Although this is your protection, it could potentially be destructive to your relationships.

The feelings that you have buried deep inside you, are probably what is holding you back from the life you want to live. Don't worry about everyone else and what they are doing. Don't stay locked up in all the could haves and should haves, release the past it's over, stay out of the future, it hasn't arrived yet. Start living in the here and now. Get out of your head, take a hike, jump in the lake, do something to have some fun. 

Survival mode is a blessing when there is danger to be confronted. Danger can be real. Fear is a choice, and anticipating it is mostly a waste of time. Most things you are afraid of or worrying about won't ever happen, and you don't need the added stress. 

Enjoy your life. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and focus on what could go right.

#371

You hate when people see you cry because you want to be that strong girl.

At the same time, though, you hate how nobody notices how torn apart and broken you are.

I think most people, male or female can identify with this quote. We are often torn between how we actually feel and how best to present and protect ourselves. 

Of course, much depends on where you are and who you are with, whether or not you want to expose yourself as being weak and vulnerable. You don't trust anyone enough to be so unprotected and if you remove the mask you will be powerless, right? All the torn apart and broken pieces of you will be exposed for all the world to see. And you sure as hell aren't going to fall for that.

The thing is, you are human and life can get you down. Human beings have emotions and sometimes they leak out. It doesn't make you any less, it just makes you human. Keeping yourself closed off, building walls has been your protection for a very long time, hasn't it? It's the main form of self-preservation that's held you together so far and now the question is: is it still valid at this time in your life? Do you still need a defense system to function today? Do you still feel you need protection? Isn't it exhausting always being the strong girl? 

It may be time to revisit this particular reaction. If you ponder it .... the trauma you survived in your life erected the brick wall around you. Would that trauma have the same effect today? You are not the helpless child any longer, you are not powerless, you are an adult. Try taking down a few of the bricks and see what happens, you are in charge. Share your story, don't give up one more minute of your life.

"Being strong means rejoicing in who you are complete with imperfections." Margaret Woodhouse

#370

If flowers can teach themselves how to bloom after winter passes, so can you.

We all have some kind of trauma in our lives and have to find a way to come back from it. During your darkest hours, you certainly don't feel as though the cloud will ever lift, but it will... and you will be a changed person. 

Everything happens for a reason, all of the highs and lows, you are constantly learning something new about the world, the people in it, and hopefully about yourself. The deeply devastating traumas in our existence are divorce, death, illness, accident, natural or financial disaster. All of these will take an inordinate amount of time to recover and learn from, and are the most life changing of anything you will encounter. 

Anything else in the way of trauma is managed according to your hard wiring. It is a matter of personal choice, whether you 'blow a gasket' or simply 'let it slide'. Just how distressing or disturbing is it when someone at work eats the yogurt that you had saved for your snack, without asking, leaving you snack-less? How much credence do you give to this act of betrayal? Anything at all can be a 'huge deal' according to your thinking process or simply to the mood you are in at that particular moment. 

Your perception of events may require some fine tuning, usually it'll require a method of managing your stress and/or relieving your burdens. Direct your energy inward for self-care and reflection to create a tranquil environment for you to reside. Once your stress level is reduced, you'll find clarity, lessen stress and worry, then you'll be able to concentrate on healing.  

The flowers bloom in Spring by divine order, they just carry on, do their thing and don't worry about anything else. This is their purpose, they burst forth in glorious blossom every Spring, so beautifully, and tend to their own glory. You, too, are part of the plan, take your direction from nature, bloom where you are planted and tend to your own glory!

No matter how long the Winter, Spring is sure to follow.

#369

Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel, always.

Be you, and be OK with it.

You have a purpose, a destiny to fulfill. Your life is charted, and will proceed in as predestined. You WILL complete your journey and do what you are meant to do.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, your life's purpose is even written in your fingerprints....(Jill Broadway-Your Purpose is in Your Hands) So find a way to get out from under all the guilt or fear or whatever is holding you back from taking a risk. Find out what stops you from doing what you want to do, and what you want to be. And then go ahead, everything will end up exactly as it is meant to.

There are no mistakes, only growth-enhancing experiences that accumulate toward your wholeness. This becomes YOU. If you are working on yourself, that person may change frequently, but you are the only one that can be YOU, in all your many transformations. Don't strive to be perfect, just whole.

Life is about taking chances, putting yourself out there and being all you are here to be. Otherwise, what is the point? Sitting in your own little bubble, safe and secure, will teach you nothing and result in you doing even less. 

Always..... say how you feel, be you and be OK with it.

Take every chance, drop every fear.