Instead of asking others to
change their behaviour,
your power is in your
changing your reaction to
their behaviour. You have
no control over their
behaviour, but you do have
complete control over
your reaction to it.
1. Have you ever tried to change the behaviour of another adult?
2. Was there a behaviour that didn't sit right with you and you issued an ultimatum concerning change?
3. Have you discontinued a relationship with someone that you truly loved because they wouldn't change a certain behaviour?
4. Is there something someone close to you does that you have continually asked them to stop doing?
5. Do you feel that if they loved you enough there is nothing they wouldn't change to make you happy?
If you answer yes to any of the above, it's likely that you think you have the power to change someone. You cannot change anyone. If any change seems apparent it is because the person WANTS to change for themselves. They may try it your way to make you happy, but they will end up sabotaging it....
BECAUSE IT IS NOT THEIR IDEA OR DESIRE TO DO IT, IT IS YOURS.
No one will sincerely change a behaviour because you said so, or even because you want them to.
Of course, all depends on the severity of the behaviour you wish changed.... if we are talking addiction, then #3 is your best course of action, get out of Dodge, you cannot fix them, nothing will until they make that choice themselves.
If it is something minor, there is always compromise. You can usually work things out, but never by demanding change.