Thursday, 30 June 2016


Nothing is more debilitating than to care about something you can't do anything about. And you can't do anything about your adult children. You can want better for them, and maybe even begin to provide something for them, but in the long run, you cannot do anything about someone else's vibration other than hold them in the best light you can, mentally, and then project that to them. And sometimes, distance makes that much more possible than being close to them.


You may think you are being helpful, that you're kind, considerate and supportive, because, after all, they are your children. 

How can they possibly make it on their own if they are rescued at each sign of trouble? It is always good to show concern, genuine interest, share your wisdom , but you raised them and now it's their turn to 'take over the world.' If they stumble and fall, it is what they were meant to do, they need the lesson. If you get in the middle of it, you are only causing a major set back in their growth. They need to go 'out there' and handle life to the best of their ability, just as you and everyone else did. 

You can't make up for your past through your children. You can't eliminate any guilt you feel concerning their childhoods by overprotecting them now. What is done is done - the past, by definition, is past, over, finito, you cannot change it or fix it. 

If your adult children are not living up to your expectations, this is your issue and if they continually need help, this is theirs. They need this opportunity to grow up and learn to manage their own life. Again, they will not learn this, if you are doing their life management. It is their life not yours.

If you feel as though you want to make a contribution to their household, or spring for a family vacation, or give them a fabulous gift, this is your prerogative, and is a very nice loving thing for a parent to do. AND it's entirely different from being their sole means of support. They are adults, let them live their life.