#444

People need to learn that their actions do affect other people.

So be careful what you say and do, it's not always just about you.

This could start a debate, there are several schools of thought on an issue like this. 

If you truly believe that you should always speak the truth, what do you do when you know that it will hurt another person? 

Do you speak your truth and the other person 'be damned' or just keep quiet? Should you 'tell it like it is' at all costs? If this means that you are deliberately hurting another human being, how can you justify that? Have you decided that it is for their own good? Should you be making that decision? Is there ever a time when 'getting physical' is okay? There are many variables on this subject.

I think the deciding factor is whether you were deliberately trying to hurt someone or if it was unintentional. If you unintentionally hurt someone an apology is in order, coupled with genuine remorse and a designer coffee. 

But if the hurt was intentional an apology will not cover it. (In other words, if you picked a fight with your friend, while spewing profanity and put-downs, and landed him in the hospital..... saying you're sorry probably won't fix it.)

Whatever you say or do WILL affect others, so the first course of action is to mind your own business. It is not always about you, and it's not up to you to judge other people. You won't get away with a cavalier attitude forever, saying and doing whatever pops into your head, people will start to step away. If you find that people are staying away from you, this may be the time to take a close look at how you are affecting others in your life. Only you are responsible for your behaviour.

#443

Don't ever say you're not good enough.

If that person can't see how amazing you are,
then they are the one who's
not good enough for you.

What strikes me about this quote is the mention of 'that person'. This is one person out of over 7 billion people on earth. Why would you listen or care about their opinion? It is just an opinion, not truth. What about your opinion? Do you agree, do you think you are not good enough? Stop and think about it. 

We are always quick to point the finger at the person that said something to hurt us. 'That person' is just echoing what you think of yourself. 'That person' has given you a wake-up call, a gift of awareness. YOU DO NOT THINK YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. This has nothing to do with 'that person', this is about you and your self-esteem. What you are feeling about yourself just happened to come from 'that persons' mouth. I'm not suggesting that you put up with that , or any kind, of insult, just recommending that you 'hear' the implications of it.

People come into your life to help you, to show you something that will of benefit you on your journey. This is a message that is a benefit to you. It will, hopefully, start you on the road to working on your self-esteem; at least it will if you pay attention to it. 

You will never be good enough for anyone else if you are not good enough for yourself.

Don't look for acceptance from outside yourself, you need to accept yourself first and foremost. You are enough, you are perfect and you are loved.

#442

LET GO

of the people who   

dull your shine 

poison your spirit  

and bring you drama 

Cancel your subscription 

to their issues. 

Dr. Steve Maraboli

Do you have people in your life that disrespect you? Does it appear that they get some sort of enjoyment out of putting you down and then systematically devaluing your every move? 

When you are at your worst, they are in their glory. 

This is not the type of person you want in your tribe. They are not supporting you and your endeavors, in fact, everything is about them. They are building their esteem by draining you of yours. They usually like to be around people that allow them to vent their issues and keep their ego topped up. 

Life is too short, give yourself a break and move on. You only want people in your life that love you, motivate you and make you happy. This is the first step, letting go of those that are holding you back. The next step may be to look into why you allow people to use you. 

Cancel the subscription to everyone's issues, including yours. Just live your life as best you can; seek joy and happiness and you'll draw people to you that feel the same.

"It's your life, live it well." Judge Judy

#441

Maybe the reason nothing seems to be 'fixing you' is because you're not broken. Let today be the day you stop living within the confines of how others define or judge you. You have a unique beauty and purpose; live accordingly.

Steve Maraboli

You are not broken....no matter what has happened to you, no matter how you feel right now, "you are not broken, you are breaking through." Alex Miles

When you feel completely lost and alone, broken, used up and fed up, you are on the road to a new beginning.  Now you will begin to take a look at things, there is no other option. This is the time you will dig down inside and pull out the authentic YOU, the person you were before everyone told you who you should be.

Sometimes you have to be knocked down, so you will pick yourself up. 

No one else can do it for you, which is the reason this has happened. You have been avoiding or refusing to look at the things that need work; the things that were said or done in the past that caused the broken feeling. By hiding things away, you have manifested these feelings. Once you begin the search for the missing pieces, you are on the road to healing and to finally recognizing your individual beauty and purpose.

When you are feeling the most vulnerable, you often get a message, the help you need. You will always end up wiser and stronger after each experience. 

#440

"Sometimes you don't realize you're actually drowning when you're trying to be everyone else's anchor."

Are you dancing as fast as you can? Seriously, can't you go any faster, can't you do just one more thing? Why can't you fit IT into your schedule? Remember, there are still 5 things on your to-do list. Why can't you get everything done in a day, are you lazy, an underachiever, or is it just that you haven't got your priorities straight yet? What is taking you so long, what do I have to do, to get it through your head? I want this done, NOW!

Why are you trying to do everything for everyone? Why are you trying so hard? What are you trying to prove? If you're not doing IT, you're worrying about IT, agonizing over IT, and obsessing about IT, which is just as strenuous. Aren't you exhausted?  

Just STOP IT. You don't need to do this anymore. You are enough, you are worthy, you are loved. STOP! 

This is the defining moment...

Who is making you do everything? Who is the boss of you? YOU ARE! No one else can be the boss of you; you are an adult. No one can make you do anything. This is about you. You  don't feel what you do is enough because you don't feel you ARE enough. 

You are a child of the universe,

No less than the trees and the stars“

You have a right to be here

Whether or not it is clear to you

The universe is, no doubt, is unfolding as it should”

Max Ehrmann - excerpt from Desiderata 1927

Trust and accept.... the entire universe is open for you, open for everyone. You have a right to be here, you are important and you are enough. YOU are loved.

This is my most-read blog of all time with over 2000 views, from 2014.. thanks, D.

#439

5 THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL

1. What other people think of you.

2. What other people do.

3. What happens around you.

4. The outcome of your efforts

5. The passage of time.

So let go and focus on what you
can control - what you do today.

Now doesn't that make sense? 

It really isn't up to you to manage anything other than your own life. The rest is someone else's business. You just do your best and the rest is going to be the way it is going to be.  "Que Sera Sera, What will be, will be"  

I'm sure you've been told since you were a child to mind your own business. And as it turns out that is exactly what needs to be done. You really have no control over others or what will happen in the future. You don't know how anything will turn out, once set in motion. And no one can stop time. You may not be able to control what happens to you, but you can always control your reactions. So, that leaves you managing you and you alone. Put all your efforts into controlling your actions and reactions and leave others to do the same.

"Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life." Marilu Henner

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." Maya Angelou

Let go of what you can't control, put your best foot forward, take care of your own business and leave everything else alone; you have enough to handle. 

#438

these mountains
that you are
carrying, you were
only supposed to
climb.

Life was never meant to be a struggle, but we certainly dive in head first don't we? We take a fairly simple scenario and create huge complications. It's as if we WANT to have something to worry about. 

We take a trip down memory lane and sadness envelopes us. We wonder how on earth we will ever manage to buy a house in this economy and find ourselves obsessing about finances. The kids are not home on time and off we go on a tangent regarding all the terrible things that must have happened to them. 

All of this negative messaging is making mountains out of molehills, it's creating problems where none existed in the first place.

You are not living in the present.....
“If you are depressed you are living in the past. 

If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.” - Lao Tzu

You are making your life a struggle, it's not necessary. The present, right now, this moment, is all you have. In order to be at peace, to feel safe and secure you need to live in the now. You were never meant to carry all the burdens of the world on your shoulders. Put them down, decide if they are real, imagined or even if they are yours to carry. Then work on letting them go. You don't want or need the stress. You are here to learn and grow, but also to enjoy your life. 

Climb the mountain, don't carry it around.

#437

"There is no one 'right' way to grow.... See what is beautiful in every person's path, in every religion, and in every belief system. honour other people's paths even if they are different from yours. Be inclusive and loving, and look beyond the form of people's beliefs to the essence. There is no right way; there is only the way that is right for you."

Sanaya Roman

Each of us is on our own journey, we intermingle for the lessons, then continue on our own.  We have tribes that we connect with but eventually, we must continue on our own path. No one is actually on the same journey as you, there may be similarities with certain connections, but all are different in some way. 

We form our own opinions and beliefs, as we travel down the road. We will locate humans that appear to be of the same mind, but after some time, we find they're not. Although we need to honour their systems, we may also have to accept the differences. We all need to learn to love and accept each individual for who he is, not who we want him to be.

There is no right way to navigate your path, but for you, there is only your way.

Your mission in this lifetime is to be yourself. There is only one YOU, and if you are true to who you are, you will be a messenger to others. You don't have to try to control them or badger them to accept your thinking, there is no need. You, being yourself, is what makes you unique and your message distinct. Honour yourself by continuing to be unique, and at the same time, honour the rest of the world's inhabitants by accepting their uniqueness. 

#436

Anytime you're gonna grow, you're gonna lose something. 

You're losing what you're hanging onto to keep safe.

You're losing habits that you're comfortable with, you're losing familiarity.

James Hillman

As you travel your path, you encounter many challenges. Each time you overcome one of these, you change somewhat. Nothing looks exactly the same. This may encourage you to dig deeper on certain issues and, consequently, you change even more. Your ideas adjust, your mind expands, allowing other concepts to enter. Therefore, you start to navigate your life in a different fashion. 

Not everyone will be happy about this, they liked you the way you were or maybe they aren't thrilled with the new attitude. You choose certain people at different stages in your life to fulfill a need in you, they do the same. When you change, this throws everything out of balance, they don't feel they can trust you to act as expected, and hence they are uncomfortable around you. You will have a lot of people step away, and you will eliminate even more that no longer fit your situation.

You will notice that you have a different focus. What used to be comfortable and familiar, no longer has the same feel or importance. You may want to spend more time by yourself, contemplating this newly discovered dimension you are discovering. This is what you are here for, to discover, to remove old obstacles, and continue to learn and grow.

The world opens up when you do.

#435

If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you.

If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.

When the time comes, when there is an awakening, each sign is a symbol of something spiritual. 

You are on the path, and nothing can stop you now. In fact, day to day life begins to get in the way, you're finding yourself unwilling to deal with mundane details; you are only wanting to immerse yourself in this new found adventure. You would rather spend your time talking the talk with people of like-mind than do anything else. Everything is extremely meaningful. You are tuned in, with a new respect for all the little nuances involved in this journey. 

You want to know everything! This is the time you seek out the teachers, the healers, the modalities, the books, anything you can find that will give you more information about what is creeping into your awareness. You feel a lightness of step, with a feeling of joy bubbling up from deep within. There is absolutely no way to stop you from your quest. You have found out your 'raison d'etre' (reason for existence). Once you have a taste of what it is all about, there is no turning back.

And on the other side of the coin: 

If you are not open, aware or had any awakening of any sort, none of the above-mentioned joy will have the slightest bit of an effect on you. If a person is determined that black is white, and is willing to defend it to the death, there is nothing you or anyone else can say or do to make them hear. They are not ready, yet, to move beyond the fear.

This is what this quote says to me. 

OR.... the quote could simply mean... if you are determined, driven,  or feel called upon to study guitar; then, by any means possible, you will. If you don't want to you won't. It is your perception, once again. You will see whatever you are meant to see in everything.

(This is a repeat from 2014, that I felt it warranted a comeback. D.)

#434

Over-thinking ruins you.
Ruins the situation,
twists things around,
makes you worry and
just makes everything
much worse than it
actually is.

Being in your head .... obsessing, fantasizing imagining, expecting, worrying, doubting, etc. will certainly maintain a maximum stress level for you. Spending your time allowing your fears to occupy your mind and worrying about things that MIGHT happen, you are creating problems that weren't there in the first place.

When you are projecting to the future in this way, it causes stress that will eventually manifest into illness. This is the main point here.... If you are continually worrying about what may happen, you are creating illness. Worry causes stress and stress kills. 

Thoughts can quickly get out of hand.... your imagination runs wild and suddenly you are mistrustful and suspicious, meanwhile, conjuring up a dubious situation that is NOT real. You have no way of knowing what the future will bring and WORRYING ABOUT THINGS THAT MIGHT GO WRONG, DOESN'T MAKE THEM GO RIGHT!

You need to give up thinking that you have control of things you cannot change. Control is an illusion. There is no point in worrying about anything, the world will continue to spin on its axis without your help. What will be, will be. Seriously! 

Don't let yourself get caught up in the fantasy, quit assuming that something will go wrong. Expect only good things and learn to accept the hiccups in life. This is your path... any bumps in the road are to help you and you WILL deal with them. You don't need to manufacture a bigger story. Your story was meant for you and it is exactly the right size.

#433

"Everything
we judge in
others is
something
within
ourselves we
don't want
to face."

We attract people into our lives to mirror the 'less than perfect' fragments of ourselves back at us. This way we can learn to see ourselves, in the reflection of those with whom we interact.

If we choose not to look at what is being shown to us, it will continue to 'show up' in our lives; because the purpose is to reveal the issues within ourselves that we don't want to face. 

So when you get angry, hurt or take offense to what is happening, when someone's actions cause a reaction for you, there is an issue still buried within. There is something you need to look at. Once recognized, this person may have completed his mission with you, this being the sole purpose, or it may be an ongoing awakening. 

It is up to you whether or not you take it any further, work on it, release it, or ignore it. If ignored, it will show up later with this person or someone else, until you 'get it.' This person can be your partner, friend, work colleague, your boss, a parent or anyone you have contact with. Often the person that you have the hardest time with will contribute the most to your growth. In the end...

You WILL be grateful.

When you are judging something about someone, you are actually judging yourself.

#432

And then man created Satan....

because owning up to your own
bullshit is just too damn hard.

Many of the major religions have a dark side character that can lead you astray. If you are not following the rules, it's possible that the 'devil made you do it', so that whatever sin you have committed has an outside force to shoulder the blame. 

Why is it necessary to have someone to blame for everything? When a person does something 'wrong' this attitude is what keeps them from admitting the wrongdoing and accepting the consequences? They know that they can incriminate someone or something outside themselves, and avoid any repercussions.

Seriously, no one can make you do anything, it is ALWAYS a choice, and you are ALWAYS responsible for the choices you make.

You are 100% responsible for your life and everything you choose to say or do. There will be times you wish you could retract the whole thing or shrug it off on someone else but you're still culpable. Even if you get away with it for a time it will haunt you, or you'll be found out. There is really no point in running from the truth, you are only postponing the inevitable, and  allowing  the obsession to continue. You can make it as easy or as hard on yourself as you please.

Owning up to your own bullshit is the only way you will ever find peace.

#431

Life has taught me that you can't control someone's loyalty. 

No matter how good you are to them, doesn't mean they'll treat you the same. 

No matter how much they mean to you, doesn't mean they'll value you the same. 

Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least.

-Trent Shelton

It's heartbreaking when you come to the realization that the person that was so important to you, that you trusted with your life, was not the person you thought they were. This is a difficult lesson to learn.

Everyone does not have the same beliefs, ethics or principles. There is a multitude of reasons you might find your beliefs clashing, from cultural to behavioral. The fact is you felt that you could trust someone, they were very important in your life and you found that your feelings were not reciprocated. They have not valued you or treated you with the respect you deserve.

Usually, it's expectations that create the problem, you decide how the person will be and how he will act and then experience deep disappointment when it's not the case. "Expectation is the root of all heartache." Shakespeare. You may have given him your heart but there's no guarantee that he will cherish it. You only wanted what you deserve, but you were expecting it from the wrong person. Not everyone can live up to your expectations. 

All you can do is accept people for who they are and determine if they can fit into your life or not.  Sometimes you get hurt, not everyone will know how to treat you, but that's how you learn what you deserve and what you really want. 

#430

You need to see that life is not always perfect. We will not always get what we want. And though it hurts a lot, what should've  happened, happened. Who should've left, left, and whatever's thrown you off course will always bring you to where it is you need to be.

WHAT WILL BE, WILL BE

There is a flow to life, a natural, organic current that runs through every living thing on the planet creating our movements from one stage to another. 

The flowers bloom in the spring without any fanfare or encouragement, they just explode onto the scene and there they are in all their radiant beauty. They are in the flow, they are not worrying about what the flower next to them is doing or if they should bloom before the trees do, they just burst forth and do what they are meant to do.

We, of course, are meant to do the same, but we get caught up in what the others are doing or what is socially acceptable. This is about us, as humans, we are much more than we give ourselves credit for. We are in control of our own lives and how we act them out. 'Stuff' happens, all the way along the road, little obstacles, that if we learn from them, will not grow into huge mountains that can stop us in our path. We are fully equipped to take care of ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally, we just need to be aware of the power of us. You have planned this course, you know what you need to do... Tune in. 

"Like a wildflower, she spent her days allowing herself to grow. Not many knew of her struggle, but eventually, all knew of her light." Nikki Rowe

#429

You're going to meet people who are intimidated by you. 

You're different.

People don't know how to react or how to accept people who don't follow the crowd....

They are not used to someone who doesn't fit in - so instead of bolstering your uniqueness, they'll try and make you feel like you're weird or damaged.

I'm here to offer some well-earned advice: 

Screw them.

Alfa

You have to know that each of us is unique, we all have our own journey and are loved beyond anything we know.  

Not everyone will understand you, just as you don't understand everyone else. We all have different beliefs according to our environments, upbringing, and exposure to the world. Don't fall into believing or hoping that everyone has the same thoughts or feelings that you do, nothing can be further from the truth. No two people react in exactly the same way, and you will be hurt if you assume that because you care about someone that they are totally on the same wave-length. They have their own thoughts and feelings which may or may not meld with yours. 

Don't ever put yourself in a position where you are being made to feel bad about yourself for just being you. It is our differences that make us unique. Celebrate the fact that you don't follow the crowd, that you have your own thoughts and dreams and see the world in your own original way. You will find others that you will 'fit' with. We all emit a frequency that attracts those of like mind. You attract what you put out.

Let's stop believing that our differences make us superior or inferior to one another.

#428

You either get bitter or you get better. It's that simple. 

You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down.

The choice does not belong to fate.

It belongs to you.

Josh Shipp

So... your worst case scenario has actually happened. The one thing you have spent your life making sure would never happen to you.... happened. NOW WHAT?  You have always been hyper-vigilant in your quest to keep this particular scenario at bay, not once did you think of how you would handle it if it DID happen. It was always just the fear and dread of it happening that took precedence.  It doesn't really matter, you can't prepare for something as devastating as your worst-case scenario. You don't know how you will react until it happens. 

As always there is a reason why these things happen, this is a message. The message is: you need to take a look at your life. You have a lesson, my friend, something needs to be re-examined. You now have the opportunity to take a look at your beliefs and your actions and see what needs some fine tuning.  

The key word here is 'happened', it has already taken place, you can't change it. In fact, it probably happened because you worried about it so intently. What you think about you create. You will find that it is a relief now that it has actually happened, you can stop worrying about it. You manifested this for your own growth. There is no room here for bitterness, or self-recrimination, no one is out to 'get you' quite the opposite, this is to help you become a better person; and believe me, you will. 

Your worst-case scenario is a blessing in disguise.

#427

Once lived, the past has very little value. And yet we carry its lifeless body into all future moments, allowing it to crush us with its weight, to identify us, and to speak for us.

Don Miguel Ruiz

The PAST... it's a very big word, it's all the time spent, the memories, good or bad. It formed us, created our belief system, showed us how to 'BE'. You don't know anything that you didn't learn in your past.

Once you become an adult and start navigating your own life, you can reflect on all that has taken place and decide what serves you now and what doesn't. The problems arise when this isn't done when you continue to function in the past., managing your life with the belief system of yesteryear. 

Are you finding that you are having issues.... does everything make you angry, sad/depressed, lonely, or just plain scared?  Are you finding you have no 'joi de vivre',  that it's too hard to drag yourself out of bed in the morning, just to do the same thing AGAIN? Your family has abandoned you, your friendships have dwindled and your dog has run away from home? (You have all the makings of a country song) 

This is you, trying so hard to live up to your past, to follow all the rules, be a good citizen and carry on. Is this working for you?  Take some time and spend your energy on YOU. 

All the information you downloaded as a child needs to be re-examined. You can re-work what is workable and let go of what doesn't serve you,  but don't just allow your past to speak for you. 

Go with your new updated version.

#426

"We must be willing to let go of the life we've planned, to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell

Let go of the illusion of control. You cannot control everything and everybody around you, and certainly not the future. You have no control over anything, except yourself.

It's okay to have aspirations and dreams, but you really have no idea what's going to happen in an hour let alone in 10 years. 

Your life has been given to you to live each day, not to wait until the time is right to do what you want to do. The time is NOW, that is all there is, nothing else is guaranteed.

If your life is too regimented, if you are too rigid in your approach to life, goal-setting, excelling, advancing, and maintaining,  you are only creating a stressful environment. You are also quite possibly setting yourself up for disappointment. 

Life will flow at its own speed, you will go where you are meant to go when the time is right for you to be there.

You could say it is not in your control, and you'd be right. Let go of the life you have planned, let life happen as it is meant to. There is a life waiting, that couldn't possibly get through all the chaos surrounding you. We create the obstacles in our path, they may be blocking the way to slow us down, to enable us to refocus, regroup, accept and allow life to go on at its own pace. 

We will get to where we need to go exactly when we are meant to be there.