Soon you'll be able to leave all justification behind, all explanation, all rationalization, all defending.
Just leave it behind because is's just practicing a vibration that sets up more resistance.
If you are not getting what you want out of this life, it is usually due to resistance. All the rantings, ravings, and prayers you are sending heavenward are not being received as you intended. Unless you are accepting and allowing, you are resisting.
"Just plain 'no thank you' isn't resistance.
Resistance is the belief that you don't have the power to choose.
You are not powerless." Abraham
"You must not cling to sameness, sameness is just resistance to MORE"
"Illness or pain is just an extension of negative emotion. When you are no longer feeling resistance to it, it's not an issue." Abraham
If you tense up, push against, defend, justify, it will only get bigger. No explaining, no complaining, no resistance. If you are struggling, you are resisting. Take the path of least resistance to get where you want to be. It's up to you!