When you do become adept at directing your thoughts that are pleasing, the unpleasing people or unpleasing aspects of those people will leave your experience. It is your attention to the unwanted that HOLDS it in your experience.
Have you forgotten all about the ones that hurt you? They never cross your mind anymore, who cares, right? And those issues from your childhood... they have nothing to do with your life now, so they are completely forgotten, aren't they? Nobody can press your buttons anymore, or make you feel bad, you have left it all behind, you're over it, you never give it a second thought.
You may not be plotting revenge, but have you truly let it go? I think it is possibly the hardest thing to do, to forget about the pain and suffering you have endured. Forgive and forget, isn't that what you're supposed to do? For me, it's fairly easy to forgive, simply because 'they' are who they are, 'they' will do what they do, and I don't want to give them my power or allow them to stifle me in any way. So I will forgive the past, the people and go forward. But, FORGET, that's a whole different kettle of fish.
'It is your attention to the unwanted that HOLDS it in your experience.'
You may think you have the whole thing handled, then something happens that pushes all your buttons.... AGAIN. Directing your thoughts is the secret. You have the power to choose your thoughts, you decide what you want IN your head. Your head will fill with various notions throughout your day. You have the option to choose which thoughts to let in, and which to dismiss. Get rid of the ones that cause stress, simply don't listen to them, grab onto the happy, joyful, pleasant thoughts and run with those. Don't let your thoughts control you, take be in control and direct your thoughts toward the positive.
"There are no new stressful thoughts. They are all recycled." Byron Katie