#368

Everyone makes mistakes in life, but that doesn't mean they have to pay for them the rest of their life. Sometimes GOOD people make BAD choices. It doesn't mean they're bad... it means they're human.

The subject, yesterday, was on forgiveness and how it would allow you to continue with your life rather than be under the thumb of someone that had hurt you. 

This, now, is about the person that has hurt you. What should happen to them? Should they be paying for the rest of their life? Some would argue that it would depend on the severity of the crime. I think it may depend on intention.... If someone deliberately set out to hurt you or whether they made a bad choice with no intention of hurting you. 

The point is what is done is done, and no matter how much you want them to hurt as you do, revenge is never the answer. They did what they did, they are who they are, and they have to live with themselves, just as you do. They may apologize and show remorse, but they cannot change what they did, it's out there, it's done. You have done what is best for you and your future by forgiving this person. And, at some point, they need to forgive themselves as well. 

The premise is the same as it is for forgiveness. If you are carrying pain, resentment or revenge against a person, what good is that doing you and in the big picture, what about the person you want to be? True forgiveness is letting go of the animosity toward the person that hurt you, and moving forward.

It is then up to the person you have forgiven to do what they will with your generosity of spirit. It is up to them to move on, or not. They have been released from their self-imposed bondage by your forgiveness, to go forward and rebuild their life. 

Let it be over, it's a new day, both parties have the opportunity to start again.

#367

FORGIVENESS

has nothing whatsoever to do with how wrong someone else was; no matter how evil, cruel, narcissistic or unrepentant they are, when you forgive a person, you break the unhealthy bonds between you and your abuser-victim relationship, and you redefine yourself as an independent victor in your own life.

Bryant McGill

Forgiveness is not about them, it is about YOU. Even if what they did to you seems unforgivable, an act of forgiveness, on your part, sets YOU free. 

Otherwise, they are always with you, you will be reliving the situation over and over again, they own you. In order to get out from under that, and get your power back, you forgive them. This is no way negates or minimizes what they did to you, you are not excusing the act, you are allowing yourself to get on with your life, without the burden.

You are here for a reason, this situation took place for a reason, you are not given more than you can handle, and the proof is in the ability to  forgive. If you choose not to, you will live with anger, resentment or revenge and continue to be a victim of this person. 

In order for you to have any kind of life, you want to move out of victim mode and back into your power. You are here on this earth and it is your choice how you want to live. This is an opportunity to have a complete life, filled with love and joy or be dragged down by the anguish of your story, never forgotten. It is not easy to forgive when you have been so hurt, but you owe it to yourself not to continue to be hurt. Don't let this injustice define you, redefine yourself as the victor in your own life.

#366

All the fear we see in the world is an outward projection of the fear we have within us.

Mastin Kipp

Your world is however you see it. 

If you see the world as a scary place it will be a scary place. Fear begets fear. Fear is a learned behaviour. There are only two emotions - fear and love, that's all there is. All positive feelings come from love and all negative feelings come from fear.
If you are projecting your feelings of trepidation outward, you are attracting similar situations. Carrying fear around with you is like locking yourself in a prison and banishing joy from your life. 

Please do not feed the fears.

Fear is not real. It is the product of thoughts which you create. Danger is very real, fear is a choice.

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

Most of the things that people are afraid of never happen, they are just notions that pop into your head..... ignore them

When your thoughts tell you you're not smart, pretty, strong or brave enough.... ignore them.

You are in control of your thoughts and you don't have to believe everything you think.

The world doesn't have to be a scary place, for you or for anyone. If you filter your thinking, kick the fears to the curb, and start believing in yourself, you'll find a much brighter outlook will take their place. There is an abundance of joy still in the world, and your share is waiting for you.

#365

WHO, what am I? 

My answer: 

I am the sum total of all I have been, seen, and done... everything that went before me, and of everything done to me. 

I am everyone/everything whose being in the world affected/was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come. Nor am I particularly exceptional in this matter, each "I" contains a similar multitude. I repeat for the last time.... to understand me you'll have to swallow a world.

Salman Rushdie

There is nothing simple about a human, all the varied experiences, highs and lows that one goes through in a lifetime make us all unique. How we look, how we act and react and the different stages and ages we accumulate. All of this is stored in our nervous systems, and stimulates our reactions. (The nervous system is the organ system responsible for producing, controlling and guiding our acts, thoughts and responses to the world around us..UTexas.edu)  I am who I am because of where I've been. 

So you are an accumulation of all you have experienced and a complex individual with an assortment of quirks and maybe a few hang ups. You want to take a look at any emotional issues before they manifest into physical symptoms. To do this, take some time for yourself, for meditation or walking/jogging in the forest or beach, doing something or going somewhere that allows you to focus solely on YOU. 

If you require more in-depth work, I highly recommend sandydow.com, The Dow Effect, with 'revolutionary results where science and soul intersect' if your nervous system is vulnerable and you are ready to find a kind and compassionate facilitator to wellness.

#364

The hardest part of letting go is finally realizing that there wasn't much left to hold on to.

Usually, by the time you make the actual decision, the idea has been banging around in your mind for a very long time. 

You have obsessed about all the reasons that it has to end, made all the excuses you can , forgiving most of them, and tried to picture your life without him/her. You rationalize that this is the move you must make for your own well-being, but you really don't want to shake things up. 

You like the comfort and stability of having someone 'there'. You argue that you'd rather live with them, than without them and so on and so on. You have a million reasons not to make the move and a million and one why you should. 

You will continue, until you don't. That is all there is to it. All of the time it takes to make the move is necessary for your growth. There is no time wasted, there is always a reason for how long you stay. You are gaining some confidence, self-esteem or pride; or maybe you just need to get angry enough, whatever the reason, you go when you go.

It may seem as though you've made a snap decision, once you lower the boom; but the fact is you have been subconsciously planning your move the whole time. Usually, you will find on that fateful day when you walk out the door, 'that there wasn't much left to hold on to.' You had resigned yourself throughout the obsessing to that which you knew you had to do. And now you have done it.... good for you. As the relief washes over you, just remember, you don't find anyone new until you have the courage to give up the old.

#363

Throughout this life, people will come in and out of our lives. 

Some stay for a season, some for a life- time. 

We don't get to pick which ones get to stay and which ones will leave us. 

Not any more than we get to choose who we fall in love with and who falls out of love with us. 

Each one in passing was there at the precise time and for a specific reason in our lives. 

We do not always know the reasons why, but we don't have to. 

This is the beauty of God's work and divine plan.

Michelle M. Vance

Nothing is left to chance in this life, there are no accidents and no mistakes. Things happen as they are meant to and when they are meant to. You have never stayed too long or jumped into a lesson not meant for you. This is a well-executed plan and it has your name on it. What you do is dependent on what you want to study at the 'Earth School of Hard Knocks", we are all here to learn.

If you fell in love with the 'wrong' person, it was meant to be.... they had something to teach you and/or you had something to teach them. The time spent on that or any other union was exactly the length of time needed before you continued on your journey.  Don't waste any more time worrying about it, take the lesson and move on.

You may not be where you thought you would be at this time, but you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Whatever is meant to happen, WILL happen. You are an important piece of the puzzle, everything you do is significant and the entire universe is standing by to see what you do next. 

#362

Stay away from negative people

They have a problem for every solution.

Many people have personality traits which have developed into negative exaggeration by the time they reach adulthood. This is usually accredited to low self-esteem. They will find a method of coping with situations and people which gives them a false sense of power. They are unable to show their true self because they are unsure of who they are. Without personal awareness, they affect those around them in negative ways.  They are not really interested in anyone but themselves and have little or no interest in hearing your side of any story. Negative people feel that they are always right and would rather be right than be happy. Furthermore, they are fearful of trying anything new or taking a risk and so, of course, they find problems instead of solutions to any idea you promote.

You don't ever need to justify yourself to this personality type, you can't change them.... you just need to get away from them.....leave it to karma.

Letting go of negative people doesn't mean you hate them, it just means that you love yourself. 

Negative people need drama like oxygen, stay positive, it will take their breath away. 

#361

"There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path. Don't allow yourself to become one of them."

Ralph Marston

This hits the nail right on the head... 

How many 'obstacles' do you bring on with anger, jealousy, obsessing, perfectionism, resentment etc.? And how many of the 'obstacles' are not your concern in the first place? 

Do you jump right in, defending others and take it on as your battle? Are you so bored with your own life that you need to take on someone else's? Do you feel they can't manage their own affairs? Or, and most likely, is there something going on in your life that you don't want to look at?

Are you your own worst enemy? Do you create 'problems' where there were none to start with? Is life not big enough for you? Are you addicted to drama?

Okay, that's quite a list of questions, so let's take a look. Life will present you with a myriad of obstacles during your time here on earth. Your job is to overcome them, learn the lesson and move forward. You have a lot of work to do. That is enough to keep you busy for your lifetime. Running yourself ragged 'interfering' (taking part or intervening in an activity without invitation or necessity) in the lives of others just creates stress and tension in yours.  

You are capable of managing the life you were given, that is why you have it. Frankly, what others are doing is none of your business. We each need to play our own instrument in the orchestra, or it will throw the whole production off. You are the best person to conduct your life and they are capable of conducting theirs in their own way. 

Stay in your own business, let others handle theirs and don't be the obstacle that holds you back.

#360

"Do not think like a human. You have the ability within you to create anything you wish.

Truth is, you are all highly powerful entities walking on this planet, disguised as simple biological beings & the disguise fools everyone -- even yourself."

-Bashar

As humans, we tend to feel that the 'sky's the limit.' We feel we can reach the highest heights if we just put our minds to it, if we work hard and 'keep our eyes on the prize.' 

It's quite a shock to your system when you find out that that doesn't necessarily work. Also, it doesn't always work when you stop working harder and start working smarter. When I say it doesn't work, I will clarify that statement with this statement .... it works as long as it works, and then it doesn't work anymore.

Life isn't about working harder and setting goals, it's about passion and the vibration you are putting out. When you first formulate an idea, you have that passion and all your energy is bubbling. But eventually, when the idea becomes work, or when life steps in, it becomes harder and harder to keep it up. So there you are with your fabulous idea, banging your head against the wall, because everything is not as you envisioned. 

You have been fooling yourself, you have the ability to create anything you want. It doesn't feel like it when you're on a downward spiral, but the ability is still there. Find you passion, bring it back into the present. This will help raise your energy and get things moving again. If you can't locate the passion, it may be time to make a change. But whatever you do, don't give up.

"The sky isn't the limit, the mind that sees the sky is the limit." 
Byron Katie

#359

When someone undermines your dreams, predicts your doom, or criticizes you in any way, remember, they're telling you their story, not yours.

Most of us have had someone that seemed to feel it was up to them to direct our lives. They seem to feel they know what's best or they just like to be in control of everything.  It really has nothing to do with you. The long and the short of it is... it is their story, that they are projecting on to you.

You have dreams and desires and they feel inadequate (unable to deal with a situation or with life.) in your presence. They don't feel they can live up to what you require, and try putting you down hoping to build themselves up. This, of course, doesn't work, but they can't get away from their feelings of inadequacy. 

They are the only ones that can deal with their issues, it is NOT your responsibility. So leave them with that burden and live your own life. The more chances you give them, the less they'll respect you. Don't ever let anyone get comfortable disrespecting you. No matter who they are or what they are to you, you never have to accept this behaviour.

Having said that, if you are allowing someone to undermine or criticize you, you have self-esteem issues that need to be dealt with. If you loved yourself, you would not compromise your self-respect. So, even though, it is their story, your story needs some fine tuning. No one can change the course of your life but you. You deserve to be happy.

#358

EVERY END IS A NEW BEGINNING

Do you find that hard to believe?

When things start falling apart, and they will, no one is immune to 'hard' times'; your reaction to a disaster is what will make or break the situation.

When things are falling apart, they may be just falling into place.

Your reaction is everything. You don't want to get into a negative state and assume that you are getting the short end of the stick; this is not true, it is merely life. Stuff happens. If things seem to be going 'wrong' on a continual basis, then you need to take a look at your attitude. If you are living in negativity, that is what you are giving out, and subsequently, that is what you will receive. No one is 'out to get you' and you are not being punished.... into every life a little rain must fall.

In order to get more of what you really want just look at each situation as an opportunity to change things or as a new beginning. It requires trust in yourself and the universe, that no matter what is on the agenda at the moment you will be okay. As long as you know that, nothing can get you down. It is taking life in stride.

Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Don't start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. 

Stay away from what might have been and look at what can be.

#357

Never blame anyone in your Life.
Good people give you Happiness.
Bad people give you Experience.
Worst people give you a Lesson.
& Best people give you memories.

Every person that you come in contact with from birth to death has come to you for a reason. There are no chance meetings, no coincidences, and no accidents. 

You have a purpose for being here at this time, and the people you meet will help direct you toward that goal. You chose to have these people come into your life at the exact time they show up.  You will learn something from everyone on your path, and they learn from you. 

Sometimes you wonder, when you are in a bad situation, what you could have possibly done to deserve this? You might try turning that question around and ask 'what is this person trying to show/teach me?'  Everyone is a teacher, and with a complete, honest and open review of the situation, you will be closer to figuring it out. The thing is, if you don't, you'll end up in a similar situation again and again, until you do.

So there is no reason to blame anyone in your life, they are doing you a favour, they are helping you to work on what needs to be changed. For instance: you are with someone that puts you down, continually. They are trying to get you to stand up for yourself, to love yourself. They are not aware of what they are doing, but their background and circumstances have made them who they are. And they 'instinctively know' who will 'put up with', (or at a soul level, 'needs') their crap. You will get it when you get it and stop allowing anyone to disrespect you. Until then you are immersed in a lesson. We all have a lot to learn.  Aren't we blessed to have teachers among us?

"We are just walking each other home." - Rumi

#356

Whenever you hear or read anything of a spiritual nature that moves your or touches your soul, you are not learning something... you are remembering what you have always known. It is a gentle awakening.

We all get a feeling, it may be a shiver, goose bumps, or in my case, I tear up. When someone says something or when I read something that resonates with me, and I tear up ... I have always thought this signaled that I was hearing the truth being spoken. So reading this quote, I can now equate 'truth being spoken' with 'remembering what I have always known.' 

It's very touching to get an indication that you are tuned in, at least a little. Just a gentle awakening. Nice. 

The answers are all within you. 

As we blindly plow our way through life, generally without any idea of what we are doing or where we are going, this little awakening is a wake-up call. It brings into your awareness that you are a spiritual being having a human experience. Which reminds us not to take life quite so seriously, it's not about deadlines, mortgages, fretting, and worrying; it is about enjoying every day, getting out in nature and absorbing the 'life generating forces' and being grateful for all this life has to offer. Stay open to the miracles of life. We are blessed.

#355

Your life is right now! It's not later! It's not in that time of retirement. It's not when the lover gets here. It's not when you've moved into the new house. It's not when you get the better job. Your life is right now. It will always be right now. You might as well decide to start enjoying your life right now because it's not ever going to get better than right now - until it gets better right now!

-Abraham

Stop waiting for the weekend, the annual vacation, or until you get that big break with more money in the bank, to do what you want to do. These are simply excuses. 

You can't put life on hold, the world will keep on spinning with or without you. This isn't about not having something to look forward to, it's about postponing everything. You are concentrating on not getting what you what, your thoughts are constantly in the future, thus giving the situation negative attention. You are creating more of the same. By waiting until the time is right to have the life you desire, you are wishing your life away.

The only time you have is right now. There is nothing else.... tomorrow may never come. This is the time you are living, right now, where you are. Dedicate this time to the things that are important to you, your family, friends and your health. Get involved in your own life, while it is actually taking place.

Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you're in now.

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”   

- Eleanor Roosevelt

#254

"Your thoughts and beliefs of the past have created this moment, and all the moments up to this moment. What you are now choosing to believe and think and say will create the next moment and the next day and the next month and the next year."

Louise Hay

Your beliefs are what is running your life. The way you react to your children, your parents, siblings, your boss, work colleagues, to any confrontation, relationship, even an overdue bill or a late paycheque. All that you do and say is due to some button that was installed or something you were taught or have read, heard or seen. All of your experiences contributed to your belief system.

Everything that you have absorbed in your lifetime has cumulated in your opinions/reactions. You react from that reservoir of convictions that you believe to be true. Some of these beliefs are honourable and others, which I'm sure if you really looked at them, you'd agree are plain silly. Yet, you have chosen to   run your life from this point of view until this moment.

You have choices, you do not have to emulate your parents, your favourite teacher or your idol, until your death. You have a mind of your own, and you can change it. If you take a long look at your reactions to certain situations, you may find that you have a system that is irrelevant today... it no longer serves you. 

This would be the best news ever, because then, you would have the opportunity to create beliefs that are pertinent to you and the life you live in this moment and thereafter.

#253

If there was no suffering, you would never search for the truth. it is suffering that goes on impelling you to go beyond it. It is anguish and agony that finally compels you to seek and search for the path that goes beyond the suffering and agony, to find a way that reaches to blissfulness and to eternal joy.

-Osho

There are certain unavoidable events in life that will cause you suffering, such as death, illness, financial and/or natural disasters, and accidents. It is inevitable that all or some of these events will happen to you at some point. 

These powerful events generate self-reflection that eventually will change the way you think and feel about your life. In the deepest, darkest hours of suffering, the strength and courage slowly begin to germinate. At the time you are immersed in the suffering, it's difficult to predict the outcome. In fact, you may feel as though you'll never see daylight again.... but oh, when you do! The shift has taken place and your faith is restored.

When things are going smoothly, the inclination is to leave it alone. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. So life just rambles along, no crossroads and no complaints, and often no change and no growth. It takes the suffering to bring it all to a head, to finally compel you to seek and search.

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.

#352

"Accept-then act

Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work WITH it, not against it... This will miraculously transform 

your whole life."

Eckhart Tolle

Ac·cept·ance

the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered

Accepting what IS, no matter what is going on around you is not as easy as it sounds. Frequently, the impulse to fight, tooth and nail, to try and stop it, is the 'go-to' solution. 

The fact is: it has already happened, so there is no point in fighting now, but that doesn't stop you, does it? You don't want it to be happening and you are not going to admit that it is happening. Welcome to DENIAL....This is where the trouble starts, for YOU. You are making life a struggle when there is no need to do so. Life was never meant to be a struggle. 

You've probably heard this before, but you can't control everything, in fact, you can't control anything, except yourself, what you do, what you say and how you react.... control is an illusion. Things happen in life, you can try to be prepared for certain eventualities, but you cannot stop the 'bad' things from happening, it's a part of life. These are the lessons that help you grow, don't think of them as problems but opportunities. YOU can change your reactions. YOU can stop resisting and allow life to flow as it will....accept it, you have no control over it.

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." Lao Tzu

#351
HOW TO WIN AT LIFE:

Step 1: Let people do what they need to do to make them happy, mind your own business and do what you need to do to make you happy. The End

Fairly simple, we should be able to do that blindfolded, don't you think? 

The main thing to remember is to: 

Let People Do What They Need To Do To Make Them Happy

You know... the questions, advice, and opinions you have for your younger brother's decisions in his life..... those need to remain unsaid. Even though you 'know' he's screwing up his life, as always, and he'll never grow up or have any sense... it is his life and he is entitled to screw it up if he wants to. He has the right to be happy, no matter whether you like the way he goes about it or not.

Mind Your Own Business

This seems to be the hardest lesson.... as a friend, parent, sibling or relative of any kind, your job is to love and support your family/friend, that's it. Once they are adults, they need to run their own lives. If you get in the middle of it, you are holding them back from their potential or creating total disharmony in your family. You don't want the rest of the family to be forced to choose sides. Now, that being said, if he asks for your advice, you can offer it, but it is his choice whether he wants to take it or not. 

Do What You Need To Do To Make You Happy

Now that you are not involved in everybody else's business, you have the time to meditate on what you need to do to make yourself happy.

#350

"When connections are real, they simply never die. They can be buried or ignored or walked away from, but never broken. If you've deeply resonated with another person or place, the connection remains despite any distance, time, situation, lack of presence, or circumstance. If you're doubtful then just try it - go and revisit a person or place and see if there's any sense at all of the space between now and then.

If it was truly real, you'll be instantly swept back into the moment it was before it left - during the same year and place with the same wonder and hope, comfort and heartbeat. 

Real connections live on forever."

Victoria Erickson

The people that we connect with in this lifetime, that we resonate with, the ones that are instantly familiar at the first meeting; are usually someone we have known in other lifetimes. We 'recognize' them because we 'know' them. 

The same could be said about a place that feels familiar to you... you have been there before; maybe not in this lifetime, but you have been there.

Therefore, when you form a deep connection, it is usually with one of these people... these ties never die. You have a history that transcends time. 

Meeting these people again will cause some physical reaction within you, you may start shaking or your stomach may flip, and you will know that this meeting is truly exceptional. It will clarify that you are on the right path, at the right place at the right time, and that it was predestined that you meet. It was written and the miracle of fate has just taken place. 

Any number of people may show up in your lifetime, and some places that you visit will be familiar even if you have never been before. It is all part of the journey... and always, it is a comfortable feeling to run into a stranger you already know.

#349

My heart is at ease knowing that, what was meant for me will never miss me, and that what misses me was never meant for me.

We are all here for a reason, we have a purpose and we WILL fulfill that purpose.

As we sail through life we may encounter obstacles, hurdles that we need to jump in order to move forward. Other times it's all smooth sailing. The obstacles are lessons we are here to learn and/or warnings that we may be wandering off our path. We are receiving messages all the time to help us on our way. Even though we may make a u-turn or take a detour, our journey will take us to exactly where we are meant to be. 

No time is ever wasted, you never stay too long, and there are no accidents or mistakes.  

You may, however, run into a setback if and when some well-intentioned person feels you shouldn't be going in the direction you have set for yourself. If this person is successful in their persuading, you may be stalled until you come to the realization that what you thought you should do.... you should have done.

Trust yourself, trust your intuition .... your course is set, it is your raison d'etre. Take the time to listen, the more you do the more confidence you'll gain. Eventually, you will realize that it's all part of the universal plan. 

You are here to do what you are meant to do, everything will point you in that direction and you will come to the point that you 'know' that what is meant for you, will never miss you and what misses you was never meant for you.