Taman Ujung, Bali

#342

Back to BALI!

That's right, I leave tonight!

I wanted to let you know that because of this latest adventure you won't be hearing from me for just over a month. 

If you are so inclined, you can see over 300 other blogs at focusedongrowing.com

Bali and my family are calling, and I must return. As I have often said it is my happy place, this magical mystical island. I am, as always, exceedingly grateful that I have the opportunity to return once again.

So this is farewell, adios, ciao, au revoir, so long and good bye for awhile. 

Nov11/15 Remembrance Day

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.  John McCrae

#341

"And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in." Haruka Murakami

Once your 'worst case scenario' has kicked you in the teeth, you start to see that this is exactly what you have been trying to avoid your entire life. 

Therefore, you have to know that you projected the thought/energy to the Universe. You created the storm. What you think you become. If you focus on your fears, you are giving them energy and creating precisely what you hoped would never happen. And now it has happened. It is a lesson that resulted in the awareness that your thoughts are creating your reality. Once you realize this, you are on your way.

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strength. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender. That is strength." 

Finally, you have come through the storm, you have survived. This is a blessing. When someone asks you how you did it, you find that you can't explain, in fact, you have no idea. You just took each day as it came, put one foot in front of the other and kept going. But it seems that everything is different, everything has changed. The fact is YOU have changed and you will never be the same.  

Change is the result of all learning.

#340

It's easy to feel uncared for when people aren't able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it's so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they're doing doesn't even cross their mind. They aren't inherently bad or uncaring, they're just busy and self-focused. And that's okay. It's not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn't make you unloveable or invisible. It just means that those people aren't very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are - that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others - is a strength. Your work isn't to change who you are; it's to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone's acknowledgment or affection you are enough. Daniell Koepke

Your feelings are your feelings, no one can make you feel anything. Feelings are your choice as well as your responsibility. You cannot be dependent on others to decide how you feel. Nor can you base how you feel on someone's reaction. That being said, it's not always easy to control your feelings when you are blindsided by someone you trust. It's a learning process, it's about learning to love and accept yourself until you are strong enough to let others feel as they do; and still KNOW that you are okay, no matter what is thrown at you. "And with or without anyone's acknowledgment or affection YOU ARE ENOUGH!"

#339

The miracle is not to walk on water, the miracle is to walk on the earth.

Life is no walk in the park. 

Of course, there is plenty to be thankful for, and even if you are open to experiencing and expressing gratitude, you WILL have hard times. I promise you that the hard times will be what leads you toward gratitude, but while you are in the throes of trauma or grief, it's very hard to believe that there will ever be any relief.

But eventually, the pain eases enough for you to open your eyes to the world again. The miracle is that you start to identify why things happened as they did, why you are still here facing everything alone and who stood by you. It happens to all of us, a significant moment in time that changes everything.... 
Nothing will ever be the same again. 

This is the miracle of walking on this earth. The worst thing that could ever happen to you happens, you take some time to regroup and come out the other side, enlightened and grateful. Amazing. Humans are so resilient.

While walking on water may not be something you have perfected as yet, walking on the earth is enough of a challenge in one lifetime for most of us. Savour your journey and enjoy those you meet along the way.

"With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful - strive to be happy."
excerpt from Desiderata - Max Ehrmann

#338

"I love getting older. My understanding deepens. I can see what connects. I can weave stories of experience and apply them. I can integrate the lessons. Things simply become more & more fascinating. Beauty reveals itself in thousands of forms." - Victoria Erickson

I truly identify with this quote. I find it profoundly amazing that once the dust settled, when the running finally ceased and the calm emerged from deep within, how much my life changed. Once all the 'crap' was out of my head, all the little details of this existence that kept me from really seeing anything; I managed to look around and actually see the beautiful world we live in. I am able now to spend more time with ME. How thankful I am for the contentment of each day, the warm blanket of love that envelopes me from family and friends. The struggle is over, and life has become the joyful experience it was always meant to be. I am content, happy and grateful. This is a blessing.

Getting older is a privilege denied to many, enjoy your time of reflection and peace, you've earned it.

"It gets easier as you get older, you accept yourself for who you are - your flaws and your attributes. It's easier to live in your own skin. 

Barbra Streisand

" I am not young enough to know everything" J. M. Barrie

#337

"Forget about self-image and self-judgement. It's about self-love, and no one teaches you that at school. No one teaches you that if you accept and love yourself, nothing and no one can touch you. This is the only face and body you're ever going to get, so be comfortable and happy in it. Own it. Own every aspect of who you are and present it to the world with the utmost pride." Connor Franta

Your body image refers to how you see yourself, and negative body image is an unrealistic view of how you see yourself. 

Many people have a negative view toward some part of their body, their face, teeth, hair, height, thighs etc. Generally speaking, women seem to have the monopoly on negative body image. Obviously men are not exempt, but women are way ahead in the game of shame. Beauty is important in the female world. 

I think, in the big picture, this is advantageous for the female race. Due to the feelings of inadequacy they have suffered, they have begun the journey of discovery. When you finally get tired of everyone's opinion, specifically your own judgment, about what is wrong with you; you may just look within and attempt to rid yourself of negative self-thoughts. 

This is the beginning. There is nothing wrong with you, only what you conjure up in your own mind. You are not happy with your body or face, well it's the only one you have. So what good does it do to be unhappy about it? That 'flaw' is only a flaw if you allow it to be. Your body has carried you this far, and people love you no matter how you look. Truth be told, the people that love you don't notice any flaws they only see someone they love. Shouldn't you give yourself the benefit of the doubt and try that approach? 
"Own every aspect of who you are and present it to the world with the utmost pride."

#336

At some point, you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It's not like you're giving up, and it's not like you shouldn't try. It's just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

You can't always get what you want, or what you think you want. No matter how hard you try, and try, and try things just don't work out. This time, you thought you had it right, actually you never had it wrong. You are in this position because you had something to learn. Don't be too hard on yourself, this is life. 

We put ourselves in different positions with people throughout our lives so that we understand distinct personalities and situations. This will result in us learning how to deal with them and with life in general. If we are in the same situation again and again, we are not getting it. We will continue repeating the lesson until we understand what it is we are here to learn. 

Each time a relationship goes sour, it is wise to take an honest evaluation of your part in it; not to make you feel bad, simply for clarity. Were you the only one putting any effort into the relationship? Were you trying too hard? You need to take care of YOU. If a person wants to be with you, they will make sure that they are. If they do not, you can't force it. 

People are who they are, you can't change them. They are who they are, not who you want them to be. You also need to be who you are, and not allow anyone to try and change you. 

Our time here on earth is like a schoolroom, we all have a lot to learn and everyone is a teacher. 

#335

You can never have a happy ending at the end of an unhappy journey; it just doesn't work out that way. The way you're feeling, along the way is the way you're continuing to pre-pave your journey, and it's the way it's going to continue to turn out until you do something about the way you are feeling. Abraham-Hicks

You can never have a happy ending at the end of an unhappy journey... think about it. 

Think of all those times you told yourself that if only 'IT' would stop or if he/she would only quit doing 'IT', everything would be OK. Then the time comes when you finally leave, and everything seems great. For awhile... until you meet the next person/situation and eventually realize that it is the same thing all over again. 

If you are repeating the same distressing circumstances, you have to know that you are attracting them. You are vibrating your feelings about yourself and your worthiness and receiving more of the same. You will continue to give out the same vibrations until you make a change. It's all about you, it's always about you. 

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." Albert Einstein

So if it is up to you, what can you do about it? 

First you need to work on yourself. You need to dig down deep inside and sort out your issues. Then take a stab at letting things go, forgive whomever you need to, and move on, with a brand new perspective. Only you can change your direction and your attitude to step out of the fog toward your happy ending.