Tuesday, 8 July 2014

How much trouble do we create for ourselves with our EXPECTATIONS? We set ourselves up, again and again. We project our thoughts and feelings onto so many situations, suffer the consequences of gigantic disappointment and yet, continue to do the same thing over and over again. 

Do you know the definition of insanity? "When you continue doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results"  There it is... and yet we are all guilty. We simply want the best possible outcome, or perhaps, we are afraid of the outcome. We are sabotaging our own lives. 

So what is the answer? How do we stop ourselves from projecting our expectations onto situations or people, especially our children, spouses and friends? We need to ACCEPT "what is", as it is, not try to control every situation or person in our lives. Each of us is on our own path, we need to let people have their own experiences, successes and failures. This is how they will learn and grow. If we continue to run interference for everyone, we are simply delaying the lesson and therefore, the growth. It doesn't matter that you think you have the answer for them, or that you can save them some heartache, or penalty. What goes on in someone else's life is none of your business. 

As Byron Katie states in her book "Loving What Is".... 
"I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and God’s. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business. When I think, “You need to get a job I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself,” I am in your business. When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business. If I am mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation."

We don't see life as it is, we see it as we are. When you learn how to accept instead of expect, you'll have fewer disappointments.  Live your own life, stay out of everyone else's.They are who they are, once they are adult, and they are doing what they need to do. Do not plan a response to everything that may be thrown at you, just go forth with love and it will all work out. Control is simply an illusion. Enjoy this life you have been given each and every day.