You feel good, you feel bad, and these feelings are bubbling from your own unconsciousness, from your own past.
Nobody is responsible except you.
Nobody can make you angry, and nobody can make you happy.
When someone says something hurtful to you, it feels as though they are making you angry/sad/hurt; and that definitely seems to be their intention. The fact is you are choosing to feel that way. No one can MAKE you angry or happy, that is up to you.
I went to a seminar on this subject many years ago, and I certainly didn't get it... If someone is yelling directly at me, they are making me respond as I do, don't you think? I sure did. It's hard not to take it personally when it is directed at you.
I now know that no one can make you feel or do anything. All your reactions are your choice.
You can't take other person's actions personally. It is their stuff, not yours. But when you react to it, you take it on as yours. You don't have to explain or defend yourself to anyone either. You are responsible for your choice, not someone else's interpretation of it.
You may have had buttons installed when you were younger that cause you to react the way you do. Take a look at what gets a 'rise' out of you, and work on letting that go, it's no longer valid. It is simply not worth it for your emotional well being to jump on board with someone else's dysfunction.