#747

Everyone makes mistakes in life, but that doesn't mean they have to pay for them the rest of their life. Sometimes GOOD people make BAD choices. It doesn't mean they're bad... it means they're human.

I have often broached the subject of forgiveness and how it allows you to continue your life rather than be under the thumb of someone that has hurt you. 

This, now, is concerning the person that has hurt you. What should happen to them? Should they be paying for the rest of their life? Some would argue that it would depend on the severity of the crime. I think it may depend on intention.... If someone deliberately set out to hurt you or whether they made a bad choice with no intention of hurting you. 

The point is what is done is done, and no matter how much you want them to hurt as you do, revenge is never the answer. They did what they did, they are who they are, and they have to live with themselves, just as you do. They may apologize and show remorse, but they cannot change what they did, it's out there, it's done. You have done what is best for you and your future by forgiving this person. And, at some point, they need to forgive themselves as well. 

The premise is the same as it is for forgiveness. If you are carrying pain, resentment or revenge against someone, what good is that doing you and in the big picture, what about the person you want to be? True forgiveness is letting go of the animosity toward the person that hurt you and moving forward. It is then up to the person you have forgiven to do what they will with your generosity of spirit. It is up to them to move on, or not. They have been released from their self-imposed bondage by your forgiveness, to go forward and rebuild their lives. It is now their choice and no longer tied to you. Let it be over, it's a new day, both parties have the opportunity to start again.

reprint of #368