#406

I believe that we are here for each other, not against each other. Everything comes from an understanding that you are a gift in my life - whoever you are, whatever our differences.

John Denver

Each person that crosses your path is an important part of your journey. There are no mistakes and no coincidences. Those that show up have something to teach you or learn from you. It's a very simple, yet complex plan that every person on the planet is involved in. 

You may feel an attraction toward a person, even though you have never met.They may have a message to deliver, become your best friend or lover. Important: just because you are attracted to someone doesn't mean they are good for you. They are here with a message or a lesson for you, and in the end, once you understand the lesson, you will realize that it WAS a good thing and you'll end up feeling grateful. So although they seem to be totally wrong for you while you are involved, there is always a reason. In the end, they were a gift to help you on your journey. 

So, things aren't really that serious when you realize that the people on your 'shit' list are simply there to help you  .. your job is to accept the message, integrate it into your life lessons and move on. 

You don't ever have to feel like you have to stay with someone unsuitable because you feel an attraction. You were attracted because something was to happen between the two of you. It does NOT mean it is your soulmate. Whatever your differences, there is a reason, a lesson, or a message with every encounter. 

#405

Peanuts again.....

For those of you that are worried about the future, or anything at all. 

You do know that worrying is a waste of time, don't you? You are not in control of what is going to happen on this earth.You cannot control anything. What is going to happen is going to happen. That is a fact. 

You can take precautions against certain things, but you can't control life... it will roll on regardless of how prepared you are, and worrying will prevent nothing. In order to stop yourself from worrying, you need to get in touch with why you are afraid. If you are worrying about things you have no control over, you are just beating yourself up for no reason. You need to stay in the NOW, today, the present. If you are worrying, you are projecting your thoughts to the future, and the future has no guarantees. 

Right now, this minute, all is well. Slow down and sink into this moment of serenity. Breathe ... and if you start to worry, direct your mind to STOP, change the subject, change your mind. Think of the most wonderful time of your life, appreciate that feeling, really lap it up. Distract yourself. Try reciting a calming mantra, have a warm bath, take a walk, play with your children/grandchildren, savour each moment and accept that you are fine, life is good. You may have to repeat this over and over, until it becomes a habit. Once you really feel that you are okay and that you can take care of yourself, you will feel safer. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE.

#404

Life is difficult, isn't it, Charlie Brown?

Is life difficult? 

If you think it is, IT IS.

Life can be whatever you want it to be, it will be as you expect it to be. You make it the way you want/expect it. 

The cartoons that we grew up with, Charlie Brown, Winnie the Pooh etc. have characters of every personality type/disorder. Which one do you identify with? Charlie Brown, himself, was neurotic, and Eeyore, very similar, prone to anxiety and depression. They were not comfortable in their worlds, they didn't feel safe. Things were always going wrong, particularly for them. When rain fell, it fell on them alone. 

With the terrorism we are witnessing on this planet, many are displaying symptoms of neurosis: anxiety, sadness, anger, vigilance, etc. People that have previously felt safe and complete, are currently suffering in varying degrees. Some are coming completely unglued; their world is no longer the same, they can't count on anything or anyone, they feel suspicious, unsure and distrustful. 

There is a faction of the planet that promotes fear as a constant for controlling the masses. With random bombings feeding the fear, it causes the public to feel that life IS difficult, stressful and scary. 

On the other side of the coin, there are people that feel that the world is a wonderful, safe and friendly place. In light of the latest news, it may be harder to keep your resolve, but the only other choice is fear. There are only two emotions, LOVE or FEAR. So there is only two motivations, either you are coming from a place of fear or a place of love. FEAR IS A LEARNED EMOTION, YOU WERE BORN OF LOVE, IT IS THE VERY FABRIC OF OUR EXISTENCE.

#403

The axe forgets;
the tree
remembers.

African Proverb

This is a profound statement. 

Think twice when you open your mouth or raise your fist. This, of course, should be standard procedure, but often it is not. When someone has suffered abuse, whether it is emotional, physical or verbal, the victim has the memory. The abuser usually declares no memory of any wrongdoing... they were in a rage or abusing drugs/alcohol, or whatever the excuse du jour may be. There are scars, visible and invisible, from abuse for the one on the receiving end. The abuser is usually only concerned about himself, no one else's life, pain or even their love is important to him. 

The 'axes' on this planet live in their own little world, they want what they want and they do what they do ... that's who they are. You, on the other hand, don't have to live with abuse, it doesn't have to be part of your journey. You can leave it all behind.

Mankind includes toxic people, they have lessons to learn and teach, as we all do. Don't spend your time trying to fix them, spend the time, instead, working on your own self-esteem. Love yourself first, so you know what you deserve. Life is too short to spend time with people that suck the happiness out of you. 

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." 

Eleanor Roosevelt

"There's no virtue in tolerating toxic behaviour" Dr. Phil

#402

When an illness is a part of your spiritual journey, no medical intervention can heal you until your spirit has begun to make the changes that the illness was designed to inspire. - 

Caroline Myss

There is a reason for illness, it is a lesson. There is always something to learn and the lesson will get through to you in one form or another.

Often illness is used as a method to control others and becomes an ego trip, not in any way related to a spiritual journey. Illness is about shedding the ego, not building it. It's not about control, but accepting that there is no control, control is an illusion. Life was never meant to be a struggle... we create struggle ourselves. Illness signals that we have something to learn, accept or let go. Accept the lesson, think about why you have this illness. Look inside yourself and ponder what you are meant to be learning? If you are avoiding your issues and/or your life, illness might be what is needed to get your attention. Welcome whatever is given to you, it is meant for your growth.

Lissa Rankin - "Conversation With The Other Side"

Q: Why do good-hearted people who do all the right things still get struck with chronic illnesses doctors don't know how to treat?

A: Because humans think they can control everything in life. They think if only they work hard enough- see the right doctors, eat the right diet, practice the right exercises, do the right meditation, take the right pills or supplements- then they will get what they want. Illness strikes when the soul is ready to learn that it is not in control. Illness teaches humility. Then the soul is ready to surrender to the mystery, and that's when life gets really interesting.

#401

Stop trying to 'fix' yourself; you're

NOT broken!

You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.

Steve Maraboli

Once again, you are perfect. You have always been perfect. We tend to think of ourselves (and the earth, for that matter) as broken. We are not, we may have some flaws, at least in our own eyes, but not broken. We are constantly looking for ways to improve ourselves. You don't need to improve yourself, you need to accept yourself for who you are. Never measure yourself or your worth by someone else's gauge. You know who you are, just be yourself and be proud of it.

If you want to improve your job situation or your health, go for it. But you don't need to improve who you are, you are ideal for being you. The only thing you need to change or improve on is your thoughts that you aren't good enough.

"You are perfect, complete and whole. There is NOTHING to fix about you. Who you are, is whoever you say you are. Do not give power to your negative inner voice. Speak with intention and find ways to help others with the gifts you have been given." Carmelia Ray

What we need to understand is that we came to earth to be who we are. Our lives and the way we live them will change lives of others. There will be people that will love us, take us a face value, warts and all. They won't see our imperfections, they'll only see someone they love. We don't need to change or improve because we are exactly what is needed for our assignment here on earth. So don't change a thing, be happy and grateful for all your blessings and simply live, laugh and love.

#400-That's right! Four Hundred

You'd never invite a thief into your house. So why would you allow thoughts that steal your joy to make themselves at home in your mind?

Those thoughts that sneak into your head when you're not totally aware, negative thoughts that create tension; are draining your joy reserves.

Negativity causes stress and stress will manifest into disease. You want to eliminate it at all costs. But, in this case, you are allowing it in. The only one that can control your thoughts is you. You need some method of selective thinking, a way to eliminate negative thoughts and keep your mind clear for positivity. 

“Don't believe everything you think.”  Byron Katie

Because all negative thoughts are fear based, you need to train your mind to think about what you want in life and avoid thoughts of what you don't. To quote Byron Katie... "don't listen to your stressful thoughts." 

“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.”  Byron Katie

Never allow your thoughts to steal your joy. If you are living in the past it causes depression and the future can make you anxious, so stay in the present. Be right here, right now, and be all here. Don't let you mind wander off into Never Never Land, stay right here. It's a process, it takes practice to have peace of mind. Change your thoughts and change your life. 

#399

Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren't any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn't be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life's challenges and problems seems to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person.

Buckminster Fuller

The one and only you, amazing, unique, perfect and important. The truth is, this is not a joke. You are all that and a bag of chips. You are loved, and no matter what a 'screw up' you think you are, there is nothing you could do to lose that love; just as there is nothing you need to do to get it in the first place. So let go of the thought that you are a hot mess, you are not. You are doing what you are meant to be doing.

You are here for a reason, you have a mission to accomplish and you will do that. Everything you are experiencing, good or bad, is to that end. Eventually, everything you have learned will come together and you'll realize that you have met your destiny, (that which was destined for you.) You will know exactly what you are meant to do. 

Will you be the one to change the world? Why not you? You never know, this may be what you were put on earth to do. Not everyone has it all figured out, many are walking around in a fog with no idea of what they are doing or where they are going. BUT they do have a purpose, even if they don't know what it is, the soul knows. If you are meant to change the world, you WILL change the world, so prepare yourself, this may be the day.

#398

I can't control your behaviour; nor do I want that burden....

but I will not apologize for refusing to be disrespected, to be lied to, or to be mistreated. I have standards; step up or step out.

Steve Maraboli

If you have gotten to the point that you understand that you can't control the behaviour of other people, you are on your way. That is the first step. 

You can't control anyone, they will do what they want to do, because they are who they are. We are a compilation of all our life experiences. Therefore, when you are wondering 'how could he/she do/say that to me?', the answer to that is: they did it because that's what they do. How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.

"Thinking that people are supposed to do or be anything other than what they are is like saying that the tree over there should be the sky."

Byron Katie

So don't waste your time trying to 'fix' these people, not matter how much you have invested in them. Never put yourself down by accepting their behaviour. At the first sign of disrespect, you need to 'cut your losses' and move on. Never allow negativity to step all over your self-esteem.

By moving on, you will be in control of your next step. There can be no blame, no judgement, and you cannot be a victim; because it was your choice; you chose not to be lied to, disrespected or mistreated... you have regained, or perhaps retained, your power. Well done! 

YOU are just the person YOU need to step up.

#397

Some people believe that 'holding on' and 'hanging in there' are signs of strength. However, there are times in life in which it takes much more strength to just let go.

Have you noticed yet that you are in a relationship all by yourself? Or that this union has nothing to do with you? Are you fighting tooth and nail to keep the connection going when your partner is doing nothing to keep you?

Give the gift of your absence to those who do not appreciate your presence....

If someone has been oblivious to you and your feelings, abusive or disrespectful, then walking away is highly recommended. These people are not appreciating how wonderful you are. and don't deserve to have you around. Staying in a situation like this will only encourage resentment and anger. Therefore, you have a duty to yourself to consider ending it.

You will need to accept that not everyone will like you, or treat you right. That is their issue, not yours. They do not like themselves. If, though, you are putting up with their destructive behaviours, you don't like yourself either. Also, if you continue to expand your boundaries to accommodate theirs, they will continue to push them. You need to take a look at yourself and why you are allowing anyone around you that is not kind, loving and accepting. 

So the lesson is... if you want people in your life that will love and respect you for who you are, you will have to do the same.

As for the people that are not appreciating you, they need to hit the road. 

#396

If you didn't hear it with your own ears or see it with your own eyes, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth.

This quote is very direct, brief and to the point, good advice. You never really know what is going on in someone else's story. It doesn't matter what it sounds like, it doesn't matter what you think .... it simply doesn't matter. You really have no idea, unless it happened to you.

We can surmise what went on, we can listen to witnesses, we can form an opinion based on what they said, but we still don't know. Witnesses see what they see, hear what they hear and no two of them have the same story. When someone is accused of something you can look at their background, their recent pertinent actions etc. and form your opinion, but that is what it is .... your opinion. 

We need to remember that no matter how justified we feel in our belief, that does not necessarily make it true.

Everyone sees something from their own perspective - (particular attitude toward or way of reading something; a point of view) Just as no two people are alike, neither are their points of view, similar maybe, but not the same. We all see things differently.

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as WE are." Anais Nin

With that being said, don't invent a story around whatever you see or believe you have seen. Accept that you really don't know. You may have an opinion on what took place, but you do not know for sure. So hold your tongue and let the situation unfold as it should. If someone of importance to you is involved, be supportive, that is all you can do. Keep your opinions to yourself, it'll make your life much easier.

#395

Do you know what happens when you decide to stop worrying about what other people might think of you? You get to dance. You get to sing. You get to laugh loudly, paint, write, and create. You get to be yourself. And you know what? Some people won't like you. Some will laugh or mock or point out flaws... but it just won't bother you all that much.

Doe Zantamata

We come by agonizing over public opinion quite naturally, having been taught to be polite, bite our tongue, learn to get along etc. All of it adds up to a genuine concern about how we effect everyone else with our actions/words. 

What others think about you is none of your business. Don't worry about the opinions of others. Allowing their judgments to have any effect is giving your control to them. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone, there will always be people that will go with negativity. Don't try to please everyone, it can't be done and it's a waste of time to try. Never accept someone's version of you. Just do your own thing, be yourself and enjoy your life. Set yourself free, there is no need to worry about anyone else's perspective of your lifestyle.

"Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner." Lao Tzu

"You'll worry less about what people think about you when  you realize how seldom they do." David Foster Wallace

"I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all."

Coco Chanel

#394

To awaken is to know yourself, and self-knowledge occurs as you begin to let go of your protective masks and start to accept the selves that for so long you have judged as unworthy and unacceptable.

All the different selves that you carry inside, the ones that you stuffed down so deep. Some of them have not been allowed to see the light of day for a very long time. 

They are the unworthy or unacceptable sides of you from different stages in your life. The parts of you that you don't want 'out there' for people to judge, the parts that you don't want to discuss. 

Sometimes it is a simple as something you said that you wish you hadn't. You hurt someone's feelings, you apologized, but it's still out there and not always easy to forget. Maybe something you've done that you wish you hadn't. Once something is said or done, it is 'out there'. You can't undo what is already done. No matter what it is, no matter how 'bad' you think it is, it is done. All you can do is ask for forgiveness and work on forgiving yourself. You will not be able to let go of your protective mask until you forgive yourself for whatever indiscretions you have committed.

Start the process of letting go of the protection, taking off the mask and allowing these parts of you out into the light, this is the beginning of the awakening.

The protective mask may be keeping you safe from judgement, hurt and pain from those around you, but actually, it's keeping you from YOU. You cannot be your true self while you wear a mask. Take it off and let the world see your beautiful face.

#393

You've been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked.

Try approving of yourself and see what happens.

Louise Hay

Are you your own worst enemy? Are you the first one to put yourself down to ensure that no one else will, or perhaps it is just the way you talk to yourself? What do you see when you look in the mirror? Many people snub themselves, avoiding mirrors out of shame or disapproval. These behaviours would stem from unresolved childhood issues, bullying, or low self-esteem etc. Any form of self-critical conduct, especially if obsessive, drains your energy, confidence and will delay your progress. 

In addition, this form of self-talk will give the wrong message to the universe. If you feel that you are not smart enough, pretty enough or simply not good enough, the universe will do whatever possible to ensure that this wish is fulfilled. 

This self-debasing attitude isn't usually deliberate, the majority of people don't even realize that they do it, until it is pointed out to them. It's is a habit of a lifetime. Just pay attention to your self-talk, it is self-destructive.

You need to give yourself some respect and stop judging each flaw (real or imagined) so harshly. You are who you are ... perfect. So accept what you have been given and treat yourself with kindness, love and approval. You cannot control what others say about you, but you most certainly can work on loving yourself, just as you are.

#392

HOW TO WIN AT LIFE.
Step 1: 

Let people do what they need to do to make them happy, mind your own business and do what you need to do to make you happy.

The End.

The main responsibility you have in this life is your happiness. Do what you want to do, live how you want to live, love who you want to love. Be happy. That is your raison d'etre. 

You are not here to interfere in other lives, you cannot make someone else happy, that has to come from them. They have to do what they have to do, follow their own path and make their own decisions concerning happiness. You can support them in their endeavours, be there for them, love them, but no one else can make their life complete but them. 

You need to learn to butt out and allow people to grow on their own. If you are interfering in someone's life, you are impeding that growth. Although your intention is to help, you are not. It is none of your business how someone else handles the complications in their existence. Each person needs and deserves the opportunity to direct their life however they see fit. 

NO, it does not matter that you could do it better, or that you are older, or wiser or whatever excuse you use. It is not your life, it does not belong to you. You do your life and they will do theirs. If they mess it up, it is a much-needed lesson for them, and they will recover. If they continue to mess up - remember the messing up is only your opinion, it is obviously what they need to do, or they wouldn't be doing it. 

Do your best, tend to your own affairs and do what you need to do to make YOU happy.

#391

"YOUR DESTINY IS TOO GREAT, YOUR ASSIGNMENT TOO IMPORTANT, YOUR TIME TOO VALUABLE. DO NOT LET FEAR INTIMIDATE YOU." 

Joel Osteen

Your assignment, if you choose to accept it - sounds like Mission Impossible doesn't it? In some cases, it may feel exactly that way. 

You are here for a reason, which may or may not be known to you. Nonetheless, you will fulfill your assignment by the time you leave this earth. You are an essential part of the puzzle, what you do affects others and contributes to the growth of all. You have the potential to exceed your wildest dreams and the ability to achieve anything you choose. The only roadblock on this journey is FEAR. Fear is not real, it is a product of thoughts you create.

"Fear is an idea-crippling, experience-crushing, success-stalling inhibitor inflicted only by yourself." Stephanie Melish

"Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears." Les Brown

Try to focus your mind on what you want to accomplish, not what you fear. You cannot move forward with fear running the show and you have a lot left to do. To live you best life, you need to face and then eliminate the fears.

"You can't get to second base with one foot on first." Frederick B. Wilson

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and focus on what could go right.

#390

No one can MAKE you angry or sad or happy. They can be an external cause, but ONLY YOU can decide how you feel and how you will respond. YOU are in control of YOU. You are solely responsible for your own thoughts, emotions and actions. 

Accept it.

Know it.

Own it.

Control it.

Mama Indigo

It's nice to be reminded that we are in charge of ourselves, mind, body and spirit. Our lives can be whatever we want them to be. We are even in control of our interactions with others- we decide how to react. No one can make you happy or angry, it is up to you to decide how you wish to react in any situation.

If we find we are suffering in any way, we have to know that, that too, is a choice.

"But there is really no reason to suffer. The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer. If you look at your life you will find many excuses to suffer, but a good reason to suffer you will not find. The same is true for happiness. The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering." Don Miguel Ruiz

"Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy until you choose to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you." Ralph Harston

So you see, YOU are the boss of YOU. If you wake up in the morning feeling sad or depressed, you are the only one that can do anything about it. Maybe seeing your child laugh will give you a temporary boost, but it won't last. In order to create a lifetime of happiness you need to renew the decision to be happy each and every day. 

#389

"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy--the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our life. Brene Brown

Owning your story is hard. It's excruciating, for many, to take the cap off that volcano of anger and hurt. To look at your life objectively, as an observer, and decide how you are going to deal with it, takes courage and a genuine desire to find peace. It is fear that is holding you back from experiencing peace, joy and happiness. It is fear that tells you that you can't let go of your past, that you can't do whatever it takes to dissolve the fear and anger, and any other negative messaging that you receive. 

Fear is in your mind, it is the story your mind tells you, it is lies. 

False-Evidence-Appears-Real.

"Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear" Jack Canfield

"There  are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It's true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it's more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They're opposites. If we're in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we're in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

"Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light" Brene Brown

#388

"We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years."

George Carlin

Does this sound accurate to you? Even though this quote originated prior to 2008, doesn't it feel as though these attitudes have accelerated even since that time? Whatever happened to living a life of moderation?  Doesn't it seem like everything is over the top? Costs are too high.... does the quality of life rise along with the higher cost of living? Parents are working too much, children are alone too much, everyone is plugged into their devices, with no actual face time or awareness of their surroundings. Also global warming is a fact... everything is totally out of balance.

We, as a society, have everything we ever thought we could want and yet so many are alone, unfulfilled, depressed and unhappy. All of these factors create unnecessary stress which often manifests into illness. We have abandoned the true meaning of life, and therefore, sacrificed our happiness. 

I think, like every generation, we wanted to surpass those that came before us, have more of the things our parents lacked. We wanted to climb higher up the ladder and accumulate to prove our worth and/or our success. Perhaps we need to take a look at what we have given up to acquire all this stuff.

The best things in life are not things.