#138

Don't take anything personally....

It's hard to understand not taking things personally when it involves you. When you feel that the remark or action was directed at you, it can cause hurt feelings, anger or resentment.

When it is a stranger, it usually is a domino effect. A build-up of small incidents that end up in your face. It has nothing to do with you. 

But when it is someone close to you, it is a different matter. They are usually just using you as a sounding board or trying to deflect the focus to you, rather than them. So everything gets turned around, and they act as though you are at fault. 

Nothing others do is because of you.  What others do and say is a projection of their own reality...

It usually has nothing to do with you. They choose to react the way they do and you must make it a choice, as well. Taking something someone has spouted off about, personally, is causing you needless pain, and setting you up to be a victim. The way people treat you is a statement about them, not you.  When you know who you are, their opinion of you, will quickly diminish in value, and your opinion of yourself will increase. So, refuse to take it personally and avoid the upset that it could cause. Their opinion of you is just that, their opinion. It is not a fact.

"Each person’s opinion is solely the product of their own life and reality.It’s hard to imagine this. It’s way easier to get offended or mad or to internalize and believe what they said. Rather than getting consumed by it, obsessed over it and letting it affect you, just let it go. Hear what they say, accept that it is a reflection of their world, and poof. See the thought disappear." 

Jackie Vecchio