#447

Don't let past relationships and old mistakes ruin your future. Don't let someone or something that didn't make it in your life continue to hurt you. If you do, you're still giving a portion of your life to something that no longer exists - it's like letting your happiness slip into a black hole. Learn the lesson, release the pain, and move on. Scars remind us of where we have been, not where we are headed.

So there you go....learn the lesson, release the pain, and move on. I can hear the screaming....HOW DO I DO THAT? 

We have all experienced something we thought/wished/hoped would never happen, something we want very much to forget. And we can forget it, for awhile, but it always shows up again. By ignoring, denying or refusing to look at the problem, we only create more problems. 

Whatever you are concerned about has already happened, you can't change it. What you need to do is accept it. Just accept it... this has happened, that is the way it was. It is no longer like that, it is over, you have survived. Today is a new day.

What happened, has still happened, but you no longer have the same feeling around it. You cling to the past with the wild idea that it will change or you can change it, you cannot. Change your reaction to it instead. 

Yes, it was terrible/awful/grim, whatever feeling you attached to it, but IT IS DONE.  Once you have accepted that it happened, apologize if necessary, forgive whoever needs to be forgiven, (don't forget yourself) and just move forward. Don't give any more of your power to something you can do nothing about. "All limitations are self-imposed and chosen out of fear." Adyashanti

#446

When faced with
senseless drama, spiteful
criticisms and misguided
opinions, walking away
is the best way to stand
up for yourself. To
respond with anger is an
endorsement of their
attitude.

Dodinsky

Just don't accept any of the negativity coming at you from others, simply move on. 

There is no need to argue, point out wrong doing, shame or recriminations, none of it does any good... it only endorses their attitude and shows you in a bad light. You don't have to react in any way as they loudly endorse their opinion, just walk away. They have shown you who they are, accept it. 

People are who they are and will do what they do. 

You have no control over anyone else, you are not going to straighten them out, and you're never going to change them, or convince them that you know a better way. There is really nothing you can do, therefore, why let them step on your peace? 

You can't change someone who doesn't see an issue in their actions.

The only person you can change is yourself, and you know how hard that is. How, then, do you propose to change someone else?  

Remove yourself from the situation, then the person has permission to be who he is, AND you don't have to participate in the drama. 

#445

Make no mistake about it.... enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It's seeing through the facade of pretense. It's the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.

--Adyashanti

People accumulate baggage  as they walk their path, some new ideas, antiquated beliefs, and plenty of programming. At some point on your journey, you realize that you're not happy, things aren't working out as you planned. From the outside looking in, your life may look perfect, and yet you don't feel fullfilled. You are challenged in some way, your beliefs are questioned,  and you finally open a crack.

This is the beginning.... you start searching, trying to find yourself. This quest is not for the faint of heart. At first you have no idea what you're doing, simply that you are searching for something to make your life complete. You are on an expedition, investigating feelings, actions and reactions. You are analyzing situations, people and all that programming.   Every move you make, you scrutinize, in an effort to find what makes you tick and why. You are questioning everything and by doing all this, you will start to see through the facade of pretense. 

Everyone has parts of themselves that never see the light of day. The hidden portions of one's humanity that aren't exposed. They are usually built of shame, embarassment, anger etc. and you've long-since learned that it's too risky to reveal them to the world you live in. Allowing yourself to be exposed, if only to you, will change the way you see life. It's the complete eradication of everything you imagined to be true.

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." 

Dr. Wayne Dyer

#444

People need to learn that their actions do affect other people.

So be careful what you say and do, it's not always just about you.

This could start a debate, there are several schools of thought on an issue like this. 

If you truly believe that you should always speak the truth, what do you do when you know that it will hurt another person? 

Do you speak your truth and the other person 'be damned' or just keep quiet? Should you 'tell it like it is' at all costs? If this means that you are deliberately hurting another human being, how can you justify that? Have you decided that it is for their own good? Should you be making that decision? Is there ever a time when 'getting physical' is okay? There are many variables on this subject.

I think the deciding factor is whether you were deliberately trying to hurt someone or if it was unintentional. If you unintentionally hurt someone an apology is in order, coupled with genuine remorse and a designer coffee. 

But if the hurt was intentional an apology will not cover it. (In other words, if you picked a fight with your friend, while spewing profanity and put-downs, and landed him in the hospital..... saying you're sorry probably won't fix it.)

Whatever you say or do WILL affect others, so the first course of action is to mind your own business. It is not always about you, and it's not up to you to judge other people. You won't get away with a cavalier attitude forever, saying and doing whatever pops into your head, people will start to step away. If you find that people are staying away from you, this may be the time to take a close look at how you are affecting others in your life. Only you are responsible for your behaviour.

#443

Don't ever say you're not good enough.

If that person can't see how amazing you are,
then they are the one who's
not good enough for you.

What strikes me about this quote is the mention of 'that person'. This is one person out of over 7 billion people on earth. Why would you listen or care about their opinion? It is just an opinion, not truth. What about your opinion? Do you agree, do you think you are not good enough? Stop and think about it. 

We are always quick to point the finger at the person that said something to hurt us. 'That person' is just echoing what you think of yourself. 'That person' has given you a wake-up call, a gift of awareness. YOU DO NOT THINK YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. This has nothing to do with 'that person', this is about you and your self-esteem. What you are feeling about yourself just happened to come from 'that persons' mouth. I'm not suggesting that you put up with that , or any kind, of insult, just recommending that you 'hear' the implications of it.

People come into your life to help you, to show you something that will of benefit you on your journey. This is a message that is a benefit to you. It will, hopefully, start you on the road to working on your self-esteem; at least it will if you pay attention to it. 

You will never be good enough for anyone else if you are not good enough for yourself.

Don't look for acceptance from outside yourself, you need to accept yourself first and foremost. You are enough, you are perfect and you are loved.

#442

LET GO

of the people who   

dull your shine 

poison your spirit  

and bring you drama 

Cancel your subscription 

to their issues. 

Dr. Steve Maraboli

Do you have people in your life that disrespect you? Does it appear that they get some sort of enjoyment out of putting you down and then systematically devaluing your every move? 

When you are at your worst, they are in their glory. 

This is not the type of person you want in your tribe. They are not supporting you and your endeavors, in fact, everything is about them. They are building their esteem by draining you of yours. They usually like to be around people that allow them to vent their issues and keep their ego topped up. 

Life is too short, give yourself a break and move on. You only want people in your life that love you, motivate you and make you happy. This is the first step, letting go of those that are holding you back. The next step may be to look into why you allow people to use you. 

Cancel the subscription to everyone's issues, including yours. Just live your life as best you can; seek joy and happiness and you'll draw people to you that feel the same.

"It's your life, live it well." Judge Judy

#441

Maybe the reason nothing seems to be 'fixing you' is because you're not broken. Let today be the day you stop living within the confines of how others define or judge you. You have a unique beauty and purpose; live accordingly.

Steve Maraboli

You are not broken....no matter what has happened to you, no matter how you feel right now, "you are not broken, you are breaking through." Alex Miles

When you feel completely lost and alone, broken, used up and fed up, you are on the road to a new beginning.  Now you will begin to take a look at things, there is no other option. This is the time you will dig down inside and pull out the authentic YOU, the person you were before everyone told you who you should be.

Sometimes you have to be knocked down, so you will pick yourself up. 

No one else can do it for you, which is the reason this has happened. You have been avoiding or refusing to look at the things that need work; the things that were said or done in the past that caused the broken feeling. By hiding things away, you have manifested these feelings. Once you begin the search for the missing pieces, you are on the road to healing and to finally recognizing your individual beauty and purpose.

When you are feeling the most vulnerable, you often get a message, the help you need. You will always end up wiser and stronger after each experience.