"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was greater than the risk it took to bloom"... Anais Nin
I remember seeing this quote when I was just beginning my quest and profoundly identified with it. I thought it was the most deeply brilliant comment ever. Obviously, I was very excited to be starting the inner work.
This is exactly what was happening to me... you hold on to all the neurosis until you don't, until you finally let go. At the beginning, you tentatively let go of a minute bit of yourself, but the shift begins.... then the most amazing things happen. You have achieved awareness, you really SEE, there are miracles all around. When you are no longer "so tight in a bud," no longer afraid; when you actually start to open, you see the world through new eyes. This is the beginning.
Up to this point.....
"We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are" Anais Nin
We have only seen the world the way we were at the point of our shift. All our past attachments, issues, fears, and beliefs are running our lives, and making decisions for us. But once our eyes are opened, we have freedom and choice. This is an entirely different world we are now living in. We can see clearly now. Everything makes sense.
Of course, this is not spontaneous, but gradually. as we continue to do the work, it becomes clearer. Everything will show up, as you need it. When you are ready, the teacher will come. You are on the path and can finally see where you are going. You can see that the lessons and how the pertain to you, you have a greater understanding. The lessons will continue, we are here to learn, but, each lesson learned is a beacon on the path ahead.