Some of the things you believe were never true....
Yes, as hard as it is to believe, a lot of your convictions, the ones you fought so hard for, are not true. They never were. You have been directing the course of your life by beliefs that were downloaded in childhood.
These beliefs were implanted throughout your life from a variety of sources; your parents, teachers, religious teachings, anyone that you felt had any authority over you.
Some of their advice may have been contaminated with their own fears, and you assimilated it into your psyche. Once you understand that you are reacting to situations with a tainted belief system, you can start to examine your reactions.
There is a solution ... thoughts and reactions can be altered. If you are reacting negatively to life, you can start working toward changing the beliefs that cause negativity. If it is anger, shutting down, or running away, it can all be refined into a gentler, more loving response; both for the person in question and yourself. It is hard on you to be in 'fight or flight' mode all the time.
Don't be concerned with where these reactions originated, who 'gave' them to you. That will only result in finger pointing and blame, which will manifest into greater issues. Simply know that you have a belief system that is no longer valid, pinpoint the culprit, and surrender it surrounded with love.
The old adage 'you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar' is true, conflict and confrontation rarely settles anything.
You deserve to know who YOU are, what YOU believe, and the ability to handle your life on YOUR terms.